Abandon One Fear, and Try Self-Discovery!

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What is your deepest fear? This is a question I ask myself regularly, especially when I find I’m getting too comfortable in my daily life. Asking this question is the boost that jump-starts my next greatest adventure.

The last time I pondered my deepest fear, I’d been asked to be a guest on a talk radio show, Write On SC, hosted by Dr. Kacie Whitener and cohost, Rex Hurst. The show is a great platform where SC writers can discuss the craft of writing, their personal author stories, and their writing style. 

When preparing for the interview, I knew I’d be asked the dreaded question, “So, tell me a little about yourself.” I received the outline for the show beforehand so, I knew the format and what would be discussed. I prepared as much as I thought I needed to and went into the studio feeling fairly confident. I wasn’t the only guest on the show, and the topic was right up my alley. We were talking about all things pertaining to the category of the romance genre.

At the beginning of the show, Kacie made the introductions and then turned to me with a knowing smile on her face, just before she asked the aforementioned dreaded interview question. I’m sure I mumbled something like, “I hate when people ask such vague questions.” Of course, I laughed it off and proceeded to grapple for a suitable response.

I don’t even remember what I said, but I do recall thinking how inadequate my response felt. I gave a perfectly suitable answer, but I wasn’t at all sure it was an authentic one. That bothered me. It bothered me so much I realized that I had become too comfortable with being suitable for others at the expense of denying the truth of myself.

That interview was back in early fall of 2021. Once the euphoria of being on the radio, meeting other writers, and being pulled into the SC writing community wore off, I was left with the knowledge that I had become complacent in my daily life. It was time to ask the question that would jump-start my next and greatest adventure:

Ella, what is your deepest fear?

I won’t bore you with how I came to my answer, just know it took a little more time than I thought it would, and it shocked me a lot more than I expected it to. But if I’m being honest, I knew I had run as far away from this fear as I could, and it was time to stop running and find out what was on the other side of it.

I want to think I know myself better than I actually do. I hope I am not delusional or riddled with blind spots when it comes to assessing my own assets and shortcomings. There’s a reason hope was left inside Pandora’s box; it may be that holding onto such foolish expectations only prolongs the inevitable outcome. (Sorry, that got really dark, really fast.) 

My deepest fear is the fear of self-discovery.

The truth is, I am hopelessly delusional and riddled with more blind spots than an eighteen-wheeler truck driver when it comes to insights into my character. I mean, who wants to pull back the curtain only to find out there’s no magic behind the big booming voice? Certainly not me, but I did it anyway. I had no choice. I asked the question, did the deep dive to find the answer, and now I had to start my next greatest adventure.

This is an invitation to all the Columbia moms who read this amazing collection of articles, to join me on my journey of self-discovery. I’ll share every step, trip, stumble, and fall. I won’t hold back as learn to embrace my light, darkness, pain—past and present—tears, joy, laughter, and anger. I’m offering you a front-row seat to vicariously—or if you choose to join me—experience this journey of self-discovery.

By the end of 2022, when I’m asked the dreaded interview question, so, tell me a little about yourself, I’ll be able to fully convey who I am and what I’m here to share, with authority and confidence.

If you would like to join me as a participant on this journey of self-discovery, use the link below to be added to my F.A.L.L.I.N.G. 4 Y.O.U. Self-Discovery Journey email list. I promise I won’t SPAM you or sell your information. Nor will I add you to any of my other email lists.

Click to join the Enchanted Women’s Collective email list

Remember, life is a journey and those of us who choose to wander aren’t always lost. Enjoy finding your own enchanting path as you learn to live for joy. Until next time, be brave, beautiful, and stay enchanted.

How will you begin your journey of self-discovery?

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Ella Shawn is a contemporary women's fiction writer with a fondness for complex characters and happily-ever-afters. She also produces a podcast aptly named, Enchanted BEAST Podcast where she elevates, encourages, and empowers women to connect with their higher self and live the enchanted lifestyle they deserve to live. And because she's a mommy of three beautiful daughters, she writes for a mommy blog once a month. If she's not writing, podcasting, or blogging; then you can probably find her sitting in her favorite chair with a ball of yarn, her wooden crochet hooks making something bohemian-inspired for her Etsy shop, Browns-n-Barnacles PCD. Ella married the boy she fell in love with during her senior year of high school. They started dating in 1992 and either they both were too lazy to look for other options or were lucky enough to find their happily-ever-after at the age of seventeen. Ella says it the enduring love she shares with her husband that allows her to write romance novels with hard-won HEAs. After developing systemic lupus erythematosus and narcolepsy w/cataplexy, she and her husband decided it was time for her to come home and learn how to live as healthy as possible with the new reality their family was now facing. It turned out to be a blessing, because a few years later, her youngest daughter developed two of the rarest neurological sleeping disorders in the world (Klein Levins Syndrome- a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty Disease and Sighted Non-24). Not only is Vickey able to be at home with her daughter while she attends South Carolina Virtual Charter School and when she goes into KLS episodes, she is also free to pursue her passion as a romance writer, podcaster, and blogger under the pen name; Ella Shawn. Her enchanted platform is an extension of her philosophy of living, loving, and evolving. She writes to gain understanding of the hard choices women often have to make. She endeavors to create enchanted spaces in which to disrobe and see the whole of who she is, and who she isn’t. Vickey shares her journey of self-discovery through writing romance novels, on her podcast, and in her blog. She loves connecting with women who enjoy seeing glimpses of their truth wrapped in sexy happily-ever-after’s. Vickey uses her platform to encourage women to reconnect with their true and essential selves. To cultivate and nurture spaces where they cease being simply women of flesh and bone and become Enchanted Beasts. When she’s not being Ella Shawn, or learning coach, or caregiver, or being taken care of… You may find her painting, crocheting, meditating, or sweating it out in a hot yoga class. But she’s a wild and free spirit who would be just as happy living in a converted van and tooling around the country—sleeping where she runs out of gas. Landing wherever she lands and meeting whoever she meets. However; she’s pretty sure her husband and children wouldn’t be willing to pack up and hit the road with her and, anyway—where would all the piggies go? So, she indulges her nomadic, bohemian spirit with planned travel, mother-cation weekends, and her ever-growing imagination.

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