What is your deepest fear? This is a question I ask myself regularly, especially when I find I’m getting too comfortable in my daily life. Asking this question is the boost that jump-starts my next greatest adventure.
The last time I pondered my deepest fear, I’d been asked to be a guest on a talk radio show, Write On SC, hosted by Dr. Kacie Whitener and cohost, Rex Hurst. The show is a great platform where SC writers can discuss the craft of writing, their personal author stories, and their writing style.
When preparing for the interview, I knew I’d be asked the dreaded question, “So, tell me a little about yourself.” I received the outline for the show beforehand so, I knew the format and what would be discussed. I prepared as much as I thought I needed to and went into the studio feeling fairly confident. I wasn’t the only guest on the show, and the topic was right up my alley. We were talking about all things pertaining to the category of the romance genre.
At the beginning of the show, Kacie made the introductions and then turned to me with a knowing smile on her face, just before she asked the aforementioned dreaded interview question. I’m sure I mumbled something like, “I hate when people ask such vague questions.” Of course, I laughed it off and proceeded to grapple for a suitable response.
I don’t even remember what I said, but I do recall thinking how inadequate my response felt. I gave a perfectly suitable answer, but I wasn’t at all sure it was an authentic one. That bothered me. It bothered me so much I realized that I had become too comfortable with being suitable for others at the expense of denying the truth of myself.
That interview was back in early fall of 2021. Once the euphoria of being on the radio, meeting other writers, and being pulled into the SC writing community wore off, I was left with the knowledge that I had become complacent in my daily life. It was time to ask the question that would jump-start my next and greatest adventure:
Ella, what is your deepest fear?
I won’t bore you with how I came to my answer, just know it took a little more time than I thought it would, and it shocked me a lot more than I expected it to. But if I’m being honest, I knew I had run as far away from this fear as I could, and it was time to stop running and find out what was on the other side of it.
I want to think I know myself better than I actually do. I hope I am not delusional or riddled with blind spots when it comes to assessing my own assets and shortcomings. There’s a reason hope was left inside Pandora’s box; it may be that holding onto such foolish expectations only prolongs the inevitable outcome. (Sorry, that got really dark, really fast.)
My deepest fear is the fear of self-discovery.
The truth is, I am hopelessly delusional and riddled with more blind spots than an eighteen-wheeler truck driver when it comes to insights into my character. I mean, who wants to pull back the curtain only to find out there’s no magic behind the big booming voice? Certainly not me, but I did it anyway. I had no choice. I asked the question, did the deep dive to find the answer, and now I had to start my next greatest adventure.
This is an invitation to all the Columbia moms who read this amazing collection of articles, to join me on my journey of self-discovery. I’ll share every step, trip, stumble, and fall. I won’t hold back as learn to embrace my light, darkness, pain—past and present—tears, joy, laughter, and anger. I’m offering you a front-row seat to vicariously—or if you choose to join me—experience this journey of self-discovery.
By the end of 2022, when I’m asked the dreaded interview question, so, tell me a little about yourself, I’ll be able to fully convey who I am and what I’m here to share, with authority and confidence.
If you would like to join me as a participant on this journey of self-discovery, use the link below to be added to my F.A.L.L.I.N.G. 4 Y.O.U. Self-Discovery Journey email list. I promise I won’t SPAM you or sell your information. Nor will I add you to any of my other email lists.
Remember, life is a journey and those of us who choose to wander aren’t always lost. Enjoy finding your own enchanting path as you learn to live for joy. Until next time, be brave, beautiful, and stay enchanted.
