I remember when I was pregnant and I found out I was having a boy. I was overjoyed because it was what I wanted. I couldn’t wait to play sports with him and to watch him play sports.
But after giving birth to him I knew that day would probably never happen…
Everyone wants a healthy baby but the truth is that’s not always what we get. And when this happens it takes you through a lot mentally, emotionally and sometimes even physically. Especially when you know you did everything right so that your child could come out healthy.
I remember it like it was yesterday…finding out I was going to have the boy I wanted. The son I prayed for.
I also remember the night I had him. The night I brought a baby into this world but didn’t hear him cry. The night that was supposed to bring me so much joy but left me in tears.
During my pregnancy with my son, I didn’t have any problems so I was expecting a healthy baby boy. But that night I gave birth to an unresponsive child.
This was one of the scariest days of my life.
After I pushed him out, the doctor and nurses immediately took him over to the baby bed and began resuscitating him. I remember crying and asking my sister if he was alright. As my friend tried comforting me I could tell by the look on my sister’s face that something was wrong.
I began to cry uncontrollably as I laid in that bed waiting to hear he was okay. After a few minutes, my sister hollered out that the baby was breathing and I watched the nurse carry him out of the room.
I didn’t get to see him until the next morning. And he still wasn’t in the room with me. I had to go to the nursery to see him, where he was hooked up to different machines. That very same day he was transported to a hospital where they could better care for him.
I was in the hospital for a week after having him. I was so depressed that I made myself sick. I felt like I did something wrong even though I knew I did everything right. I would call all day every day checking to see if he was okay, and trying my best to get out of the hospital he was born at and to the hospital he was now at.
After a week of being in the hospital, I was finally able to go be with my baby. As soon as I saw him, I knew everything was okay. I knew that I would do whatever I needed to as his mom to make sure he’s alright.
He was in the hospital for over a month in the NICU. He had some brain damage due to a lack of oxygen to his brain during birth. My son also had seizures and he ended up needing a feeding tube because he was aspirating.
Before he came home I had to learn everything I needed to care for him. I was even required to stay overnight at the hospital in order to show the doctor that I was capable of handling it.
At the age of nineteen, I became the parent of a child with special needs. My whole family had to learn how to care for him. Luckily my family was willing to help.
Caring for a child with special needs was new to all of us. And was incredibly scary. Although the doctor and nurses made sure we knew how to care for him, we still had to do our own research.
My mom would keep my son while I went to the library to check out books and use their computers for research. As I did my research I would take notes in a notebook so I could remember everything (I think that was the best thing my mom taught me to do). I would pull out that notebook when people asked me questions and I would also use it to write down questions I wanted to ask the doctors.
Having my son taught me a lot of responsibility at a very young age. Things I don’t think I would have known about.
Being a parent of a child with special needs is definitely one of the hardest, yet one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever experienced.
As a parent of a special needs child, you learn to appreciate everything. Things that some parents may find to be a small feat, like their child being able to pick up a toy, are things we celebrate. I wouldn’t trade this journey for anything in this world.
When people talk to me they always tell me how strong I am and I always give that credit to Jaylen. Because at my weakest moments he’s given me the strength to get up. He doesn’t give up and neither will I.
I know that raising my son will be forever but I wouldn’t want to spend my life any other way.
