When my daughter was born in 2012, I was told I would be unable to breastfeed due to a medication I was on. I didn’t even attempt to try nursing at that time. I later learned that the medication was indeed safe for breastfeeding, but the doctor who prescribed it didn’t know that.
During my second pregnancy, I researched breastfeeding and alternate treatments for my medical condition. (KellyMom was an amazing resource, and I learned that I didn’t have to change my medication after all.) My daughter had been on Similac Alimentum, which is a very costly formula. I knew we wouldn’t be able to afford that, should my son Asher need to be fed with Alimentum, so breastfeeding appeared to be the best choice for Asher at the time.
It was, but it was a difficult journey.
As you may have read in my previous blog post, Praying to Bring my Baby Home: A NICU Story, my son had a difficult first 11 days of his life. I truly believe that my breast milk (along with the power of prayer) is what saved him. Asher’s first feedings were through a tube, but the first time he was fed my milk was the day he began to get well.
I pumped exclusively until Asher was one week old. My first nursing session with him was on April 17, at 11 a.m. We had a rough start, as Asher was confused. He had only ever been fed by bottle and tube, and he had difficulty latching. After help from a nurse and a lactation consultant, we found our nursing rhythm.
Our nursing sessions and Asher’s measured feeds were limited until his release. The night we brought him home, he wanted to cuddle and nurse all night long. I was exhausted and grateful that I had almost 5 weeks left of my maternity leave in which to cuddle and nurse my beautiful son.
Nursing became painful as my let downs were intense. As soon as milk began to flow, I was paralyzed with pain. If I hadn’t had supportive moms talking me through that period, I probably would have quit.
Over time, I realized my letdowns were less painful when I was standing up and holding or rocking Asher, but my arms became so numb from holding him for an extended period of time that I knew this was not a long-term solution. Babywearing while nursing helped, as ring slings reduced the strain on my arms and back.
When I returned to work, I took two 15-minute pump breaks each day, and I would go home to feed Asher during my dinner hour. This worked well for a few weeks, and I was producing enough milk while pumping, until I ended up in the emergency room one night. I was suffering from exhaustion and my blood pressure was dangerously high.
I was unable to pump during my time in the emergency room, and the next day, my pumping sessions produced a significantly lower amount of milk. I struggled for a week, supplementing with formula. I was devastated.
I bought a stronger pump when my pumping sessions produced only mere drips. I felt engorged, but nothing would come out when I pumped. With Asher at my breast, though, milk flowed freely and he was satisfied, but I was in pain.
Through Human Milk 4 Human Babies and La Leche League of the Midlands, I found a few mommas with stashes of frozen milk they were willing to donate so my son would not need to be fed formula while I was at work. I wanted him to have the benefit of the human antibodies that are found in breast milk, and we’ve found that milk is gentler on his system than formula.
I asked three screening questions before accepting the donated milk:
- Do you smoke or participate in recreational drug use?
- Do you have any disease that can be transmitted through breast milk?
- What medications were taken during the time frame this milk was pumped? (Having been on medication did not disqualify the donation, but I wanted to be aware, should Asher have an averse reaction.)
After two more weeks of fruitless pumping sessions, I sought the advice of a International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, who referred me to a gynecologist. I was prescribed Reglan in an attempt to increase my production while pumping. Unfortunately, once I completed the regimen of Reglan, my production levels while pumping decreased again.
Asher has always been satisfied when drinking right from the tap, so I have concluded that my supply decrease during pumping may be related to stress at work. I don’t wish to take any more medication to increase my pumping abilities, as the Reglan was causing me to be depressed. What could I do?
I asked some friends for help. One friend has wet-nursed Asher and pumped to feed him when I have been at work. She has helped me find milk donors when I was unsuccessful. I am so lucky to have a friend like her. Other friends have been sounding boards. My husband has helped with cleaning the pump accessories. I have a few more friends who act as my support system. They lend an ear, and give advice only when asked.
I’m still able to breastfeed Asher on my own when I am not at work. Letdowns are still painful, but wearing Asher in a sling and nursing while standing help. I’ve adjusted my pumping schedule at work to help my production by taking one long pump break versus two shorter ones. I am so lucky to live in a community with so many supportive breastfeeding moms and great La Leche League leaders. That is the only reason I have been able to continue.
I have only been successful with a little help from my friends.
Have you donated breast milk, or given your little one donated milk? Talk about it in the comments.
