B/S/T. If you don’t know what this acronym stands for – STOP READING NOW. Seriously. If you don’t know, then you don’t want to know. Because once you know, you will never be the same.
There I was, an innocent first time mom going about her life taking a gazillion photos of my new baby girl and posting them on social media, scrolling through countless Facebook and Instagram posts on my iPhone while doing the late night/early morning nursing sessions. One of the moms on my Facebook moms groups mentioned she had joined a B/S/T group for her newfound obsession with swaddle blankets. I was in love with them, too, so I asked her to add me.
And that was the beginning of the end.
B/S/T stands for Buy/Sell/Trade. Where you buy something used for about $2.00 less than retail. Where you will sell your soul for being first to paste your email address during a mad dash to purchase a HTF (hard-to-find) item. Where you will trade your life as you knew it from walking around leisurely at Target to refreshing your Facebook and Instagram feed over and over again awaiting a new post.
These are my confessions. Continue reading at your own risk.
It started with swaddle blankets, then moccasins, then baby carriers, clothes, and mama items. At one time I may or may not have belonged to 19 B/S/T groups on Facebook. One mama confessed she followed over 300.
Those of us addicted to these groups/shops do not judge one another. We have a familiar understanding that runs through us. The power of the “paste” option on our phones and laptops is massive. The new language that we learn alone is invigorating. Terms like “purge”, “admin”, “EUC”(excellent used condition), “HTF” (see above), “FTO” (for trade only), “ISO” (in search of), “DISO” (desperately in search of), and “NFS” (not for sale) are just a few of the words tossed around on these groups.
If you have girls, you will be immersed into a universe of sequin bow headbands, halter-style rompers, floral swaddle blankets, and the most adorable mommy-and-me sets you will ever see. If you have boys, you will sink yourself into Harlem leggings, slogan raglan tees, miniature trucker hats, and 100% organic handmade beanies.
All of us are moms and we want our kids to have the best, but we don’t necessarily want to pay full retail or shipping costs. PayPal will suddenly seem like your new best friend. You will be transferring funds daily – if not hourly – to support your vice. You may even contemplate opening up a new (separate) checking account so that your husband doesn’t see all of your purchases (or transfers).
This is just what I went through. Others may have different tales to tell.
And then there are the women in these groups. They are tough. They are ruthless. They will stop at nothing to get their email addresses posted FIRST. Sellers may entice a group by posting a well laid out stash of goodies that they plan on posting later on through the day. The experts will continue stalking the post throughout the next few hours, while the rookies and the newbies will continue “bumping” a post by using Eyes Wide Open emojis and hearts alerting the seller that they are “looking” for her to start posting, perhaps invoking a spirit of camaraderie so that they “win” an item over another mom.
This doesn’t happen.
Each group has different rules that they follow. You must agree to these terms before beginning to buy/sell/trade. If you violate these terms, you will be blocked from the group. I haven’t experienced being blocked, but this is a very real fear. Many of the groups share the same members and you get to know one another from who buys what.
You also know the hard-core buyers because they are always in line first and seem to have magic fingers knowing when to hit “post.” I’ve experienced a surge of anger at these women – who are essentially complete strangers – because they seem to always get the things I am coveting. It’s like the Hunger Games. When a seller starts to post their items, it’s like someone whispers to the other members in the group “May the odds be ever in your favor.”
Things can get nasty on these threads. For “HTF” items or limited edition items you will pay MORE than retail just to get your hands on them. Moms will echo their toddlers by whining about not being fast enough. Their Internet isn’t loading the way it should. They missed a post because they were putting their children down for a nap. I have even thought the unthinkable which is “I really should be tending to my kid right now” and shoved it away as I waited for another item to be posted.
If you are lucky enough to be #1 in line, the adrenaline rush is real. In a previous life, you may have experienced that same rush by getting hit on by a cute guy at a bar. Now, it’s because you just beat out four other mothers for a used romper for your 2-year-old little girl that she will wear maybe twice before it’s stained with dirt, boogers, or spaghetti sauce. It’s the win that I feel is the true addiction. You are competing against hundreds, maybe even thousands of other moms who are raising their own “hipster” children and if you score an item that someone else is coveting, it’s like a double shot of espresso from Starbucks. Such a rush.
And then there are “mail days.” When you get home from work and you find your mailbox stuffed with poly mailers and one by one you rip them open with the same excitement and joy as Christmas morning. You will then lay your treasures out on the blank canvas to post to Instagram and Facebook about how you can’t wait to see these on your little cutie. Then these items get put away tenderly in drawers or on hangers to be worn and loved and hopefully passed onto later to some other coveting mama.
My true confession? I dress my daughter for me. I know I have a very small window of time before she starts choosing her own style and her own clothes and when the day comes that it happens I hope I am willing to let her be, because I have spent the first few years of her life choosing for her. I’m also very grateful that I have such an incredibly understanding husband who while he now fully knows about my secret life on social media, he continues working hard to support my addiction without making me feel too guilty about it. For that, thank you, babe. And for all my other B/S/T mama groupies out there, May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor.
