One of the most feared responsibilities in a parent’s life is being able to create a open bond with their children. When I had my first child, my thoughts were consumed with how I wanted to raise her. I questioned myself daily on what kind of parent I wanted to be and what kind of parent I would be.
You have this precious life that is entering a world defenseless and depending on you to protect, love and care for him/her, regardless of what your life factors are! Talk about pressure, huh!
As adults, we expect for our children to immediately fall into OUR way of life! Routines are created, events, meeting, and work responsibilities are packed in, and life often takes over. Do we ever stop to consider that our children may need a breather? Adults are not the only ones who become overwhelmed!
My teenage daughter is very much in “love” with the world of KPOP right now! When she first began mentioning it, I was not very interested. Life had consumed me with other responsibilities and I just was glad she was in a happy and whole state.
Then conviction hit me!
I have always created a open door policy for her to talk with me about ANYTHING! (And oh boy some of those talks were pretty interesting.) We have pillow talk at any time she voices she needs it. Why am I now closing a door to what has always been open to her? Was it because she is older now? Did I expect for her not to need those talks anymore?
Needless to say, I now think I am fluent in Korean language and I know quite a few KPOP bands! BTS is her favorite, well mostly Jimin! (Welcome to the teenage world of famous crushes.)
So what am I saying? By showing interest in what may seem small to you but BIG to them, it creates a trusted space they know is always available – no matter what! It allows comfort-ability to settle on our children. It validates that they too, are important and what they think, feel, and see matters!
Take moments to sit on the floor and play cars or join in tea parties! Take a moment to have a conversation with them outside of the normal, “How was your day?” Take note of their everchanging interests! And most of all, SUPPORT THEM!
Here are three ways you can boost the bond between you and your child…
Create:
Create moments to build with them as they grow. Introduce something that only the two of you do together daily, weekly, or monthly. Every day may not go as planned, but go with the flow of your child! If they are having a rough day, offer your presence! Take your work and lay by them! It makes it easier for them to understand they have your support on a bad day and on a good day!
Grow:
Grow with them! Every situation THEY go through will also grow you! Remember you are constantly evolving as a person and each new stage will require an understanding. Growth is considered a upward movement! Emotions, physical changes and mentally enhancements are partnered with this. You children will need the support and teachings of how to effectively reign in all the components as life flows. Know that growing takes time and does not always happen at a set rate. May I remind you to be patient with them as they advance!
Nurture:
Protect what you created!!! Your natural responsibility is to care for and encourage the development of your child! This often creates the blueprint for their behavior and personalities! They came into this world with essentially blank slates, fresh starts. We have to understand that every person they meet and the way they are treated has great impression. They will need these skills when they begin to create their own families, enter into relationships or new friendships. Allow them to find their identity and purpose! No matter what that may look like, make it known you will always nurture what they capture!
