Finding Us :: Dating My Husband

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Finding Us :: Dating My Husband | Columbia SC Moms BlogA new month. A new year. A time for reflecting and goal setting.

I’ve never really been one to make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I do have some things I really want to work on. 

Growing up my mom would always stress the importance of continuing to date your spouse after marriage. Something I’ve tried to hold on to, but with three kids and full time jobs it’s not always easy.

Instead, it’s easy to get swallowed up and lost in the day to day. Putting kids first can happen before you know it. Coming home late and barely speaking happens from time to time. But when this becomes the norm, it’s easy for the couple to get lost. Easy for them to drift apart and basically just exist under the same roof. 

My husband and I have been married a little over 12 years. And all of the above is what I want to avoid. So this year I’m embarking on a journey. A journey that will focus on us being a couple. No I haven’t read any of the popular books that are circulating right now about love dares and how to be a better wife/husband. I’m simply making it my goal this year to make sure that we make time for each other.

After all, that’s how we got started in the first place.

Finding Us :: Dating My Husband | Columbia SC Moms BlogWe started as a couple. Once the kids are grown and out of the house, we will return to being a couple. Only I don’t want to get to that point and discover my husband and I have drifted apart. I want our relationship with each other to remain alive and well. I want to look at him in 20 years and be able to say, “We got here TOGETHER.” I don’t want to look at him and wonder who on earth he is. 

So how will we get there? Our basic action plan includes two main things: Date Nights and a Monthly Focus. 

Date Nights

We plan to have at least one date night per month. No Kids. No shopping for household items. And absolutely no work talk. Just us being a couple. There will be times I’ll do something he loves. (He’s already asked if one could be time at the shooting range.) And there will be times I get him to do something I enjoy. (Paint night anyone?) Some months we might spend money and other times it may cost nothing. But the bottom line is we must have date night and honor that time for just the two of us each month.

Monthly Focus

Each month I plan to focus on something to bring us closer together … something beyond just the monthly date night. Things such as holding hands, staying up late with my husband and watching a TV show with him, etc. These ideas may sound really simple, but show you care and are taking interest in your spouse and the things they enjoy. We have discussed this idea and have agreed to both be more diligent in this area … together.

So as the new year begins, I’m excited about “finding us.” We’ve both grown and changed over the past 12 years. We owe it to each other to make sure we are growing together. And we also owe it to our kids to see what a healthy marriage looks like so they too can strive for that kind of relationship when they eventually get married. I invite you to follow along throughout the year and embark on your own journey.

Finding Us :: Dating My Husband | Columbia SC Moms Blog

What are the things you would focus on each month? What are some things you would do for date night? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Brandi Cade is a Christian, wife, mom, and Instructional Facilitator at a local elementary school. She is the youth coordinator and also teaches Sunday School for K-5th graders at her church. She married Mark in July 2004. Together they have 3 children: Bradley (10), Tori (8), and Aubrey (4). Bradley and Tori have taught her about parenting children with multiple medical needs. Fortunately their youngest is simply full of life and keeps Brandi and Mark on their toes that way. Brandi holds a BA in Early Childhood, an MA in Curriculum & Instruction, and two Certificates of Advanced Graduate Studies in Doctoral work in Instructional Leadership and Educational Leadership. As an Instructional Facilitator she works with teachers as well as students on best practices for learning in the classroom. Brandi loves the beach, music, reading, writing, blogging, sewing, and her new found interest: Bible journaling. Her newfound interest lead her to create the group Scripture Sketchers for local Bible Journaling fans. She hopes to turn this into a business within the next year or two. She is also a Beachbody Coach and works as an Independent Damsel Pro for Damsel in Defense.

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