After having two children, my husband, Shawn, and I debated whether or not to have a third baby.
For a few years, it wasn’t an option. After all, my son, Atticus, and daughter, Amelia, were only nineteen months apart, and for a time I had two in diapers and just making it through the day seemed like something to celebrate. (Confetti, anyone?) I still remember standing in Barnes and Noble, poop smeared on my arms from Amelia’s blowout diaper while a two-year-old Atticus almost spontaneously combusted in a fit on the floor.
So, by the time they reached five and six-years-old, and they could actually pour a bowl of cereal by themselves and wipe their own derrieres, it seemed crazy to even think about starting again.
But then when we had a garage sale. As I watched people walk off after buying our crib and baby clothes and highchair, I felt a pit in my stomach. I just didn’t feel like our family was complete. I wanted one more because I’m crazy. And it was crazy.
After meeting a few financial and career goals we decided to choose crazy, and we have no regrets. In November of last year, we had our third (and last!) baby—Tennyson. If you are thinking about making the leap from two to three, here are some things I experienced:
We Learned to Herd
Now that Shawn and I are outnumbered, we have learned to herd our brood in public places. One of us holds Tennyson or mans the stroller while the other herds the other two onto elevators, through doors, up or down stairs, or away from dangerous cliffs or fire-breathing dragons. (If there’s just one of us with all three, herding must be done one-handed.)
Our Older Children Matured
Since there’s a gap between our older two and our baby (Atticus is nine and Amelia is seven), I was worried about the family dynamics. However, the older two matured very quickly.
First of all, when I say, “stop acting like a baby,” it’s suddenly real for them. The older two see how silly Tennyson looks when he throws a fit. Also, they’re helpers now. They know that every time they bring me diapers or soothe Tennyson, they’re part of the team running the ship.
In spite of a little complaining, they like the responsibility, and it’s good for them to think about the needs of someone else in the course of a day.
Germs? Bacteria? Who Cares
With Atticus and Amelia, I carried hand sanitizer in my purse. I bought a grocery cart cover to use when Atticus was a baby. (Although admittedly, I think I used it a whopping three times.) Now when Tennyson happily bounces in his Exersaucer, I don’t care when the dog licks his face clean. Tennyson thinks it’s funny and my dog removes all the fossilized apricots off his face so it’s a win-win for me.
And I didn’t even think about buying the grocery cart cover. The other day, when I was shopping with Tennyson in a health food store, I had a concerned mother stop to tell me that she knew of some places where I could find the grocery cart covers on discount. I chuckled. “Thanks, but I figure this is good for his immune system.”
On Screen Time…
Although I try to limit my kids’ screen time, as all moms know, some screen time can buy you time to finish dinner or writing or just have fifteen minutes of Zen with a glass of Malbec. Tennyson is perfectly happy playing in his Exersaucer when everyone else is in the room. (Le sigh.) Fortunately, I’ve learned that while Atticus and Amelia watch Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (go ahead, judge me) I can put Tennyson in his Exersaucer and plop a laundry basket on the coffee table to block his view of the television. For the third baby—it’s whatever works.
Sunrise, Sunset…
It’s a cliché saying, but kids grow up so fast. The other day, while I made breakfast, Amelia asked how she can be “suddenly seven.” I replied, “Geez. I don’t know. You shouldn’t be allowed to grow up this fast.” Then I felt like weeping into my coffee mug.
Watching how fast they’ve grown makes Shawn and me savor every moment with Tennyson. We’re not perfect, but we try not to take anything for granted — the smiles, the cooing, eating cereal for the first time. In fact, Tennyson has made us better parents to Atticus and Amelia. Since having him, I’m more aware that his babyhood won’t last forever just like their childhoods won’t continue forever. This drives me, as a mom to live more in the present, knowing that time passes at a lightning speed pace.
