Facebook is tough these days.
It only takes a quick scroll to get my fears heightened to a level that has literally caused my blood pressure to rise over the last year. Three minutes on Twitter the other day and I was ready to jump off a bridge.
Social media certainly has its pros and I am happy to be able to use it, but during an election year it becomes a dangerous trap for hateful and bad information, that can cause rifts in relationships with people we care about.
We are all passionate about our beliefs. But it doesn’t have to cause permanent rifts in the relationships with people we care about. As a very passionate advocate myself, this is a hard lesson I have had to learn over the past decade.
The following are some tips on how you can survive social media without losing your friends and family who have opposing views. Following the tips, I have provided some resources on ways you can use your energy and passion to make a difference.
6 Survival Tips for an Election Year
1. You don’t have to pipe in…
Remember one of the first rules we all learn as young children. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. If you can’t RESIST – think hard about what you want to say and maybe wait until the next day to comment.
2. Before sharing/reposting an article or info on social media, ask yourself the following:
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- Did I actually READ the article?
- Did it serve to educate me on the issue at hand, or was it just an inflammatory slam on anyone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as me?
- If I did not already subscribe to this belief/like this person or dislike this person, would the article make me angry?
- Is it from a legitimate news source or is it mostly opinion and conjectures?
3. Understand that you aren’t going to change hearts and minds with a post on social media.
If you really want to have an impact, do something. Volunteer with an organization, make a donation to that campaign, make phone calls, send letters. Action is where you get results, not arguing with someone on social media (See the list of resources below if you need some pointers on getting started).
4. Unfollow people you know are going to post things that make you mad.
I have a couple of friends that I will never agree with, nor they with me. I don’t want to get angry with them, because I know this is who they are and always will be. Arguing with them over a meme that makes no sense serves no purpose. So, I unfollow their posts and when we’re together, we can have discussions that go completely differently because you behave differently in person than you do behind a screen.
5. Have discussions whenever possible with people who don’t agree with you.
Yes! One of the biggest dis-services we have done in our country (especially in the South) is to decide we shouldn’t talk about politics or religion. That’s ridiculous. The best way to learn and to understand is to hear why others are or believe what they do.
We all come to the table shaped by our life experiences.
My views and beliefs have changed drastically due to the experiences I have personally lived through and discussions I have had with others. I have had complete reversals of my beliefs and views on certain issues from having open discussions with people that are different from me. The best way to learn is to talk to someone different from you.
I love what Desiree Peterkin Bell is doing on this topic. She and her husband host chat and chews – where they bring people of completely different races, religions, and values together. Then, over a meal, they have discussions. They learn about each other. They learn FROM each other. She calls them candid conversations over dinner.
There is a lot that can separate us, divide us, create fear within us and among us but there is more power in finding a common core set of values to work from and to make an impact.
– Desiree Peterkin Bell
The only way we can truly change the conversation is to be a part of it.
And my final tip…
6. If all else fails avoid political posts altogether.
Just post funny memes, cat pictures, and feel-good videos. Do your advocating and advocacy elsewhere…
It’s not easy to follow the tips I suggested above. I found myself just this morning, literally as I was writing this post, getting sucked into an argument because I was so irritated by something someone said in a comment.
I reflected on the advice I had just written, and I re-wrote my reply several times before crafting one that was calmer. The reply that came back led me to see the other person was not really willing to have a discussion at all, and I ended it by just saying, “Thank you for listening to my point of view. I appreciate that.” The end.
So You Want to Do More?
For those of you who are itching to do something, to play a role in making a difference… I get it! I am very engaged socially and politically. I identify as an activist and a very strong advocate for my causes. I didn’t start that way. It took having a child die to make me realize how necessary our ‘mom voices’ are.
I make the time to show up at the Statehouse, send emails, and call my elected officials. I’ll go to advocacy days and attend important hearings. And I always vote.
But I know that different moms are at different seasons in life. When I had smaller children, it was really hard to do much at all, especially if it meant leaving the house. But regardless of your situation and place in life, there are some fun and simple ways you can still have an impact.
Resources for Moms Who Want to Be More Involved
If you feel passionate about learning more about the topics that impact us as mothers, or if you’re looking for ways to get involved, these organizations are a combination of advocacy and activism, and blogs for awareness and education.
The first five lean more socially liberal (although always in what they feel to be in the best interest of mothers and children) and the last couple are more conservative mothers and organizations.
All of them offer great insight into the issues at hand and opportunities to become engaged – even if it’s only by sending an email periodically (that they generally write for you, and you just have to send to your officials) – all the way to full engagement if you are able.
- Moms Rising – MomsRising is a network of people just like you, united by the goal of building a more family-friendly America.
- Lose the Cape – this is a podcast, blog, and book series, including Lose the Cape: The Mom’s Guide to Becoming Socially & Politically Engaged (& How to Raise Tiny Activists!). Lose the Cape is dedicated to bringing awareness and having open discussions about topics that impact women, mothers, and children. In full disclosure, this is a podcast and movement I started years ago when I wanted a place to have discussions and to learn more about these topics and no one else was having the conversations I wanted to engage in.
- The Mom Congress – Mom Congress™ is the U.S. mother’s rights movement addressing the most pressing policy issues of motherhood including what we call the “motherload” (the stress that U.S. mothers carry, at higher rates than other developed countries). You can be a part of the organization and help move legislation forward on topics such as maternal health, infant and maternal mortality rates, paid leave, and so on. In May, they host the three-day Advocacy event in Washington, DC. This is an incredible opportunity to learn about the issues and talk to your elected officials. You can register HERE (and use the code SUNSHINE for a 15% discount). I’ll be there!
- Social Good Moms – Social Good Moms is a one-of-a-kind global coalition of 3000+ mom bloggers who currently span twenty countries who care about spreading the good news about the amazing work nonprofit organizations and NGOs are doing around the world.
- Anti-Poverty Mom – Adventures in being a volunteer advocate to fight poverty while raising children. My insights are seen through the lens of motherhood and a desire to help moms uplift each other to make a better world for our kids.
- One Million Moms – a division of the American Family Association, was begun to give moms an impact with the decision-makers and let them know they are upset with the messages they are sending our children and the values (or lack of them) they are pushing.
- Chicks on the Right – the Chicks’ mission has been to advance the cause of conservatism through data-driven and opinion-driven commentary in an informal and entertaining way.
