I was a sophomore in high school. It was a Saturday and I was so incredibly excited to head to my best friend’s Sweet 16 party that afternoon.
I was in the middle of getting ready when my father came in to tell me to do something. I told him “no, I had to get ready for this party.” He told me I couldn’t go because I got “sassy” with him. A verbal argument ensued. I called my best friend to tell her I wasn’t coming.
It was in that moment my entire life changed, for the better.
It’s now Monday, I am in 4th period of high school when my teacher received a phone call asking me to come to the nurse’s office. I walk in and she asks me to go to another, more private room. I enter and find our assistant principal and a police officer. The nurse closes the door and sits down. Her first words are…
“We received a phone call from a concerned parent….”
You see that Saturday, while I was on the phone telling my friend I couldn’t come to her party and my dad was being a jerking having “one of those days,” he burst into the bathroom and threw me up against the wall. She heard the impact. She heard the pain. She heard the anger in my voice. I told her I needed to go and she said “OK, I will see you Monday.”
My best friend then told her mom, her mom did the right thing and called the school. She couldn’t muscle up the nerve to call the cops immediately, but she took the time and made an equally important phone call. You see, schools have an obligation to report any suspicion of abuse. It’s a hard burden every teacher holds … trust me I have been on both ends.
And as a result, it was the last day I was physically abused by my father.
In the three short years I spent as an educator in the public school system, I had my fair share of helping solve NUMEROUS sexual and physical abuse allegations. While most were unfounded, there were a few that led to a child’s life changing forever.
You see, those beautiful, happy, little students can hold some dark secrets. Adults can be scary to them. Their peers, not so much. Many things are talked about on that playground, during group time, and lunch. They share a lot with each other. They share with their peers because that’s their safe zone.
You are your child’s safe zone. The person they go to and unload a rough day. Please listen and look. If your child seems off, or is trying to tell you something they can’t quite grasp, help them tell the story. You are the person that may be on the receiving end of some dark secrets. As hard as it may be, if your child tells you something you think needs to be shared, PLEASE do it. If you aren’t comfortable telling the police, tell the school (in private).
I understand the concern. What about your own child? I can’t give you the answer on what will happen. I am sure very little. However, by reporting your suspicions you are teaching them a valuable lesson. The lesson of helping others, even when it can be a bit uncomfortable.
My best friend and her mom are most likely the reason I was able to move beyond the hate and anger. She was the reason that impact with the bathroom wall was my last ever experience with physical abuse. I will forever be indebted to them for saving me.
If you want more information on child abuse and how to report it, visit the Department of Social Service’s website. A child could be indebted to you for saving them.
