Before you had kids, were there things you swore you would never do once you became a mother? You’re not alone! In our series “I Never Thought I’d Become THAT Mom,” we’re sharing our “can’t believe” moments as we reflect on motherhood.
When we brought my son home from the hospital, I assumed his car seat was fine. The hospital checked it. My mom checked it — and she had been using car seats for the past 4 years with my brother’s children, so it must have been fine. We brought him to his pediatrician’s office in his bucket seat, and no one said anything was wrong. But I discovered that though my car seat itself was safe and installed correctly, I was not using it correctly!
As you can see in the photo at right, the harness straps in Remy’s car seat were placed in the slot above his shoulders (they should be at or below the shoulders for rear-facing). Additionally, they were too loose. And we were using after-market accessories, which can make an otherwise safe seat unsafe.
My son’s car seat was one of the estimated 80 percent of child restraints being used incorrectly in the United States! Talk about “mom guilt”! I cried for days at the thought of what could have happened if we had been in an accident.
My Research Begins
After that, I scoured the Internet to find any and all information I could find about car seats so I didn’t let that happen again. This is when I found the website and Facebook group Car Seats for the Littles. While some people find them a little overzealous about car seat safety, I have only ever found them helpful. This group of nationally certified Child Passenger Safety Technicians (CPSTs) can troubleshoot car seat installation problems. It also has reviews and comparison tools for all the major car seats, articles on when to change to a different style of seat, tips for cold and hot weather, and information on what a CPST actually does and the training they receive. On the Facebook page you can get recommendations for a new seat that is within your budget and can actually fit both your child and your car — or for a car seat-friendly car as well.
Among the many articles I found on extended rear-facing, “Why Rear Facing: the Science Junkie’s Guide” by Emma Douglas spoke directly to me because of my emphasis on biological anthropology. (The bones, they speak to me — paleopathology joke.) Douglas explains that toddlers’ bones have not fully developed, so they are at greater risk for serious injury than older children or adults. Rear-facing seats protect their developing spines better than forward-facing ones.
From there, I found the updated recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP):
“The AAP advises parents to keep their toddlers in rear-facing car seats until age 2, or until they reach the maximum height and weight for their seat. It also advises that most children will need to ride in a belt-positioning booster seat until they have reached 4 feet 9 inches tall and are between 8 and 12 years of age.” (Read more at aap.org)
And after that I found videos of crash test simulations. If nothing else will convince you to rear-face your toddler, I think this video showing crash-test dummies will. Watch how much the forward-facing dummy is jerked around in its seat, versus the rear-facing dummy. Imagine the damage to that little body.
I was a convert! If I could, I would have my son rear-facing until college, LOL. Yes, we get people (including family members and employees at Babies R Us) commenting on how inconvenient it is (it’s not), how uncomfortable my son must be (he’s not), and how continuing to rear-face can’t possibly be safe (it can actually be safer; for children 12-24 months old, it is estimated to be over 500 percent safer).
People think he’s going to break his legs if we are in an accident (children are actually more likely to injure their legs in an accident when forward-facing, because their legs can hit the seat in front of them with extreme force) and tell me all the time how much happier he would be forward-facing (yeah, just keep reading), and more. But I have done my research and I am confident in my decision. The links on this page can give you a great starting point in your own research, and I do encourage you to do your own research. (Just remember that not everything on the Internet is true. Use reputable resources!)
Rear-Facing to Forward-Facing, and Back Again
As my son’s second birthday approached, I realized that he was going to outgrow his seat by height much sooner than I was comfortable with. But for our family, getting rid of a perfectly good car seat that could still be used forward-facing was not an option.
Reluctantly I turned my son forward-facing on June 30 of this year, at 2 years and 3 months old, as it was no longer safe to rear-face him in his current seat. He was just as happy forward-facing as rear-facing, and he really enjoyed climbing into his seat by himself like a big boy.
As the new school year approached, though, I realized that we would need a second seat to coordinate drop-off and pick-up at preschool because of my husband’s and my opposite schedules. It was like the stars had aligned! I could rear-face again!
After consulting with the Car Seats for the Littles Facebook group, I picked a new seat that has the highest rear-facing height limits (a necessity for my ginormous two-year-old) and can also be used as a forward-facing 5-point harness car seat – The Graco Size4Me65.
After almost two months of forward-facing, I was dreading installing his new seat. There was no way that he was going to be happy in the car again for the next year and a half. We installed his new rear-facing seat on August 24, and I just knew that there was going to be kicking and screaming. Instead, Remy was perfectly happy the entire ride and only cried when I tried to get him out of the seat to go home. (I’m assuming it was either because he was tired and had almost fallen asleep or because he didn’t want to leave his Grammy’s house because that is where the cookies are.)
I asked him on the ride if he was okay, and he replied, “Yeah.” Well, Remy – 1, Mama – 0.
But Remy is rear-facing again in my car, so I guess it’s really a win-win for everyone. He will still be riding forward-facing in my husband’s car, but he will be using that one far less often and does technically meet more than the minimum to make that a safe choice.
Like every parenting decision, I recognize that not everything will work for every child and situation. I am not a CPST, and I can only repeat what I have learned and researched. I hope that if other parents put their children in an improperly used car seat, it is because, like me, they genuinely don’t know any better. But because accidents do happen, we need to talk about car seats, and we need parents to get the RIGHT information.
Did you discover new information about child safety after your child was born? Tell us about it!
