I Never Thought I’d Become THAT Mom :: The Older Mom

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Before you had kids, were there things you swore you would never do once you became a mother? You’re not alone! In our series “I Never Thought I’d Become THAT Mom,” we’re sharing our “can’t believe” moments as we reflect on motherhood.

College and grad school came and went, and still no ring on my finger. I wondered if I would ever find my prince charming and start a family.
College and grad school came and went, and still no ring on my finger. I wondered if I would ever find my prince charming and start a family.

From the time I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to be a mom, and I assumed that it would happen as soon as I grew up and got married. That was how it worked in the storybooks, right? But college came and went, and there was no ring on my finger. So I decided to pursue my education in a field – teaching – that would be family-friendly when the time came.

Grad school came, and went, and there was still no ring on my finger. So I threw myself into my career and made the most of my singleness by teaching, traveling, seeing the world and loving on the students God sent my way. Finally, I came to Columbia to attend seminary at Columbia International University. I came to learn about God, but in the back of my mind was the thought that maybe, here, I would meet someone special.

It almost didn’t happen. But in my last year, in my last semester, I crossed paths with my future husband. While my seminary years came and went with no ring on my finger, I did graduate with the hope that marriage and motherhood would not be far in my future.

When we married three years later, I was 32 years old. It made sense to wait a couple of years before starting our family, but the choice to wait eventually stretched into a monthly roller coaster of hope and despair, watching family and friends conceive again and again while we were left at the starting line.

Pregnant
Conceiving was difficult. I didn’t see two pink lines on a pregnancy test until I was 37 years old. Bringing home a second baby took even longer.

Until … one morning, there were two pink lines on a pregnancy test. I became a mom for the first time at the age of thirty-seven and was head over heels in love with the little girl God placed in our family. I loved being a mom and was looking forward to growing our family – sooner rather than later, given my “advanced maternal age” status.

But bringing another baby home took longer than I expected. The road took us through the death of our unborn daughter Naomi, two more miscarriages, and a whole year of nothing before I saw those two pink lines again. After an anxious “pregnancy after loss,” we welcomed our son into our family. I was 41 years old.

Today, I am 44 and doing my best to keep up with my six-year-old daughter and two-year-old son. Friends my age are dealing with teenage angst, paying for college, or in a few cases, becoming grandparents. I am teaching phonics and potty-training … and loving it. I never dreamed when I was a girl that motherhood would elude me for so long and I would be the “older mom” someday. But today, I wouldn’t choose any other life.

Did it take longer than you thought to be a mom? Tell us about it!

 

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Kristi is a pastor’s wife, mother, writer, and former public school teacher for English for Speakers of Other Languages. She grew up all over the United States as an Air Force brat, but moved to Columbia in the 1990s to attend Columbia International University, and has called the Midlands “home” ever since. Her days are kept full with the antics and activities of her children - homeschooling, church activities, American Heritage Girls, and Trail Life - as well as writing and leading her Columbia-based pregnancy loss ministry, Naomi’s Circle. Kristi is a contributing editor for “Rainbows and Redemption: Encouragement for the Journey of Pregnancy After Loss” (www.rainbowsandredemption.weebly.com) and a co-author of “Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother“ (sunshineafterstorm.us). She shares her thoughts about faith, family, and femininity on her blog, This Side of Heaven (www.thissideofheavenblog.com).

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