A Letter to My Husband :: You Restored My Faith in Fathers

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My Dearest Bryan,

When I met you that night in a crowded bar on an insanely hot July evening, I would never have guessed that years later I would be so excited to celebrate you with love and appreciation on Father’s Day.

You know my story well. I was seventeen when my father walked out on my sister, mother, and me. You have seen me shed many tears over how broken our relationship is and how as hard as I try to repair it, there are some things that will never be. You have maintained a respectful, cordial relationship with him; never denying the rare times I do get to see him while understanding it never gets easier.

Even before he left us, my father and I had a strained relationship. I was always a bit “too much” for him. Too emotional. Too headstrong. Too talkative. I remember when I was a little girl and would want to put on a “fashion show” for him with all of my new school clothes and he would barely glance up as I shimmied down the hallway, occasionally saying, “That’s nice, honey,” without any enthusiasm.

I felt he never truly was comfortable with having daughters, almost as if he was scared to embrace being a daddy. Maybe it was because he became a father at the young age of 20? To this day, any interaction we have is shrouded in an awkwardness that I have learned to just take in stride.

Upon his departure from our family, I assumed that most men on the planet had the same intentions. Men leave. Well, it wasn’t going to happen to me. No, I would leave first. And I did. I left every man thereafter with the knowledge that I was never going to be blindsided again.

And then, on that night in July at a crowded bar, I met you over a friendly, slightly intoxicated game of Jenga.

Our love came about easily. You are a handsome, brilliant, charming man with a sense of humor that always makes me laugh. You were the first man in my life that I didn’t want to leave.

It scared me to death.

And then the day came that I found out I was pregnant. I remember being sick over telling you. And it wasn’t just morning sickness. So, I told you. And with tears in your eyes, you said very sweetly “That’s all you wanted to tell me? You’re just pregnant?” We both laughed … but oh what a journey it has turned out to be.

From the moment that our daughter was placed in our arms, I knew there would never be a better man to be the father of my children. I watch you with our children sometimes, without you knowing. How tender you are with them. How much you adore making them squeal with laughter. How you are fascinated by everything that they do. I snapped a photo of you recently holding our son. The thoughtful touch of your hand to his face simply melts me.

Our children will never know what I have felt. And I couldn’t be happier.

Day 2 with our daughter

I know my daughter will always have a daddy she can confide in and trust. I know you will provide strong arms and a clear mind to help her see through the struggles in life that she will no doubt encounter.

I know you will never leave her.

I know my son will be taught how to treat a woman from watching you. I know he will learn skills and knowledge from you that will take him through his life to make him a self-sufficient and independent man.

I know you will never leave him.

I cannot tell you how grateful I am that I found you. I cannot tell you how honored I am to be not only your wife but also the mother of your children. You are the man who renewed my faith in humanity. One day, our children will know just how blessed they are. But until they do, I know. And on this Father’s Day, I wanted you to know too.

All my love,

Brandi’

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Brandi
Brandi’ Starbuck is a recent transplant to the Columbia, SC area from Charlotte, NC where she met her husband, Bryan, and where they welcomed their first baby girl, Mackenzie. Now living in Blythewood, SC with a spirited, fun-loving 2-year-old (who looks exactly like her daddy, but acts just like mama) and expecting their second baby (a boy!) at the first of April, they are thrilled to call the Midlands home! Brandi’ juggles working full-time, outside the home, as a property manager of an apartment community in Northeast Columbia, keeping Mackenzie entertained, and occasionally enjoying a date night with her handsome hubby! Lover of shoes, social media resale shops, and all Pinterest recipe boards, she is excited (and terrified) to have two young children and can’t wait to share her journey with others in her writing. Along with their three small dogs that were their first “babies,” they are one small addition away from completing their family! You can expect to see the Starbuck family strolling along the Villages at Sandhill on the weekends, with a cliché and loved cup of Starbucks coffee in their hands, wearing matching tees purchased from a mom-owned Instagram shop.

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