Every night it was the same routine. I’d brush my teeth and hop in the bed with a book and wait for my mom to come upstairs to tell me goodnight and that it was time for lights out. But before she could switch the lamp off I’d beg of her the answer to one last question…
“Mommy, what should I dream about?”
Partly knowing full well she didn’t have any control of the imagery that would reel in my mind once my eyes were closed, and partly because she was exhausted at the end of a long day caring for our family, the answer was always the same.
“I don’t know Meg, how about horses?”
It was a simple answer, but it was always just what I needed to hear to drift off to a peaceful sleep.
You see, I’ve never been good at defining my own dreams. I’ve never been particularly convicted about any one thing. I’ve always just kind of coasted along, happy as a clam, taking each day as it comes.
But when I really think about it, it’s kind of a hard truth to swallow to think that I don’t really know what I’m passionate about. For example, I’m ten years into a career I simply fell in to. I’m pretty decent at it, but I certainly wouldn’t say it’s my passion or my calling. In fact, it is safe to say I still don’t know what in the world I want to be “when I grow up”.
What I can tell you though, is that becoming a mom has awakened something inside of me.
I’ll never forget dialing my mom shortly after my daughter was born and experiencing a too-darn-close-for-comfort-tornado warning and all the terror that accompanied it. I was knee-deep in nursing pads, and dirty diapers, and with tears in my eyes and a quiver in my voice, I told her, “Mom. I can’t explain it, but it’s like I feel feelings on a whole other level now!”
My fear is now palpable, my happiness is richer, my sorrow is deeper, my joy is more radiant. To put it simply, my emotions are just raw, and real, and dare I say, beautiful. It’s like someone lifted a veil off of them, and now they are just out there, for all the world to see. There’s this whole new perspective on life and love and what it means to have a place in this world. I’ve been awakened to the fact that now I have this incredible opportunity to shape the life of the one that my husband and I have created. No big deal right?
HOLYBIGDEALBATMAN.
The last thing I want to do is to teach my daughter that life is all about a 9-5 and a paycheck. That it’s about groaning when the alarm goes off first thing in the morning and groaning about being exhausted when you’re trying to put a hot meal on the table for your family in the evening. I want to inspire her to dream big and do ALL THE THINGS. But how do I do that if I’m not living my own life that way?
Growing up, my dad always said, “Do as I say, not as I do” and while it was always sort of in jest, and we always laughed about it when he said it, I don’t want Lileigh to be faced with that choice. I want living a life of passion to be what she grows up totally immersed in, without knowledge that there is any other way to be. But where the heck do I start?
I’ve always been the studious type. When I don’t know the answer to something, I research. I browse internet articles, I read books, I listen to podcasts and I FIND. THE. ANSWER. Over the last few weeks, I can tell you I literally Googled these questions: “How do I figure out what my dreams are?” and “How do I figure out my calling or my purpose?”
Ridiculous right? Like good old Google was just going to come back and say, “Oh Hi Megan! We were hoping you’d ask. You were put on this earth for XYZ. Now you know. Hop to it! Time is ticking!”
The real life story is that I’ve now consumed more than half a dozen podcasts that discuss this very topic and I’ve ordered and began digesting at least three books from Amazon. I highly recommend all of them, so I’ll link up at the bottom, but so far, here’s what I’ve learned.
- Passion and purpose doesn’t just exist for everyone, always. It most often needs to be cultivated and developed.
- I will get out of this journey what I put in to it, and nobody can give me the answers but me.
- Clearing the clutter from my life and making time to just be and to breathe and reflect is of the utmost importance. Margin is invaluable!
- You don’t birth a baby overnight. Same goes for your dreams and your passions. You’ve got to take time to nourish them and grow them into living, breathing things so that they may one day take on a life of their own.
- Surrounding yourself with positive and inspiring people who are totally rocking their calling is contagious! Find those people!
I wish I could share the secret to life with you and tell you that the answer is as simple as my mom telling me to dream about horses every night, but unfortunately that isn’t the case. I’m barely scratching the surface on this stuff, but I’m feeling invigorated and inspired already. For now I’ll keep intentionally creating margin in my life for reflection and time spent doing things I enjoy. I’ll clear the clutter in as many areas of my life as possible, and I’ll continue tuning in to women who inspire me to do more, and be more. I invite you to do the same!
If you’d like to take this journey with me, check out the podcasts and books below! I’ve referenced a few specific episodes, but I haven’t heard an episode on any of these podcasts that I didn’t enjoy. I hope you find a few nuggets of wisdom!
Podcasts
- Coffee + Crumbs Podcast: Ep. 41 Free of Me with Sharon Hodde Miller
- Seek The Joy Podcast: Ep. 31 Coming Home to Who We Really Are with Amber Lilyestrom
- For the Love Podcast with Jen Hatmaker: For The Love of Parenting, Ep. 4 Working Moms Stretched too Thin: Jessica Turner on Work-Life Satisfaction
- RISE Podcast with Rachel Hollis: Jasmine Star Having the Audacity to Dream
Books
- Free of Me: Why Life Is Better When It’s Not about You by Sharon Hodde Miller
- Stretched Too Thin: How Working Moms Can Lose the Guilt, Work Smarter, and Thrive by Jessica N. Turner
- Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be by Rachel Hollis
