I’ve been a stay-at-home mom and I’ve been a working mom. I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, I am not a good stay-at-home mom.
So I work.
Contrary to how I feel, my kids beg me all the time not to go to my job. They would love for me to be a stay-at-home mom again. But, as much as I miss watching my kids grow up … there are some things I need just for me, which has made me realize I am no good at being a stay-at-home mom. Here’s why…
I’m No Good at Balance
I hate trying to balance this whole mom thing with doing laundry, dishes, cleaning up messes, and actually trying to entertain my children. Some moms can do it and are unstoppable. Me? After about 10 minutes, I’m ready to end whatever activity is going on. Usually, because someone is whining, complaining, or screaming. After all of that, I look around and see a destroyed house that I really should get cleaned up before the husband gets home. That is not fun. I just want to enjoy my kids.
I Need Me Time
Selfish? Sure. But without the time I spend at the gym or out of the house, I start to go a bit stir crazy. The time I have for myself is crucial in my parenting. Unfortunately, with a husband who works 50-60 hours per week (on a good week), it is difficult to schedule time just for myself. When he gets home, I know he is tired. I don’t want to ask to leave for a few hours to go out with the girls and leave him with the gremlins, knowing full well he is just as exhausted as I am. I need a bit of time to worry only about myself. To do things only for me. To actually be selfish.
I Need to Talk to Adults
I need time to talk to adults. I’ve come into work after a day off with the kids and everyone instantly knows I didn’t have much adult contact. I end up talking a mile a minute about anything and everything. Why? Because I’d spent the previous day talking about rainbows, unicorns, why the sky is blue, and why wiping boogers on one’s clothing is inappropriate.
When I was a stay-at-home mom, I’d end up spending hours online or on my phone for no other reason than looking for adult conversation. I was also known to annoy the bazinga out of my husband when he would walk in the door. I’d ask a million and one questions when all he wanted was five minutes of peace to wind down from a frustrating day of work.
Playdates Are Super Uncomfortable
Now here is something I don’t need. Playdates. You’d think this was the answer to adult conversation … right? Nope. Playdates feel like an awkward first date where you’re minding your manners. Constantly reminding yourself, “no, don’t scream, she can’t see your crazy yet.” They get worse as you realize the other parent has a completely different parenting style than you, and now you have to explain to your children why it’s okay for Little Johnny to wipe his boogers on his clothes but my precious Little Suzy cannot.
I’m Not Good with Kids
I adore my kids (most of the time). Other people’s kids? Not so much. Even my best friend’s kids get on my nerves. I’m just awkward in general, and even more so around other people’s kids. I’m that weird friend you hand a baby to and I have no idea how to hold it. I’ve been through it twice, and yet, still can’t get a handle on it. And then you have the screaming, crying, complaining, the interruptions. Darn it, kid, don’t you see I have a Facebook argument to win?!
At the end of the day, I know I’m making the right choice for my children. I’d love the opportunity to spend more time with them, but I know this is for the best. I’m a much happier mommy when I’m out in the world and not feeling as though I am just getting by.