“Okay, You Feed Him Then!” 10 Witty Comebacks if Harassed for Breastfeeding in Public


I have had a love/hate relationship with public breastfeeding. I love being able to breastfeed my infant son, but I hate that nursing in public still has a stigma attached.

I have nursed all over Columbia in the past three months since having my second child … stores, parks, restaurants, you name a place and there’s a good chance I’ve whipped out a boob there. I am grateful that so far no one has questioned or harassed me, but I know that is not the case for many of my breastfeeding sisters.

If someone had approached me when I was feeding my firstborn, who I had a terribly tough time breastfeeding in the first place, I would have cried my eyes out. My relationship with breastfeeding was shaky at best and being a new mother I might have given up entirely. I luckily have a great support system of moms and dads who a very pro-public feeding. And I have mastered, I think, semi-discreet nursing. Maybe I get dirty looks but am too busy minding my own darn business to notice.

For those mamas who breastfeed in public and may be harassed, here are 10 witty comebacks to throw out … I hope you never have to use them…

1. I’m sorry you find nourishing my child so offensive that you felt the need to be rude to a complete stranger.

2. Did you miss the day in biology class explaining the true purpose of boobies?

3. Do you normally chow down in the bathroom? I don’t know about you, but I am not a fan of steak and urinal cake.

4. Are you hangry? He will be done in a minute if you want a snack.

5. You’re really this upset about me breastfeeding my child? Let me guess, mommy issues.


6. She doesn’t really like to be smothered by a blanket, but feel free to wrap it around your own head.

7. You just saw a little nip slip? You must be really offended at public pools.

8. My husband is a huge supporter, actually. He paid for these suckers and wants to make sure he gets his money worth.

9. I could go do this in the car, but I’m scoping out which one to steal first. What do you drive?

10. Scream at the top of your lungs – “Quit staring at my boobs, perv!” And then squirt him in the eye with breast milk.

Have you ever been harassed about breastfeeding in public? How did you respond?


  1. Some of these are pretty funny! I’ve been breastfeeding now for 22 months and have not had anyone say something to me but have had some stares and dirty looks. Doesn’t bother me one bit, but if someone were to ever say something I would definitely use one of these lines (most likely #10) lol!

  2. Love these and will keep in mind. Luckily in the 22 months that I breastfeed my first no one said anything when I was feeding her but the looks I was given made me feel ashamed at the time. The only two people I got any comments from where my doctor and child health nurse who both said that I was feeding her for way too long. Personally I don’t see anything wrong with the amount of time.

  3. I’ve been breastfeeding for 14 months, and the most issue I’ve had is a few looks of distain . And maybe a few old guys following me around taking to my nursing child about how lucky they are…. Lol I tried to just assume the were meant innocently. Though I’ve been almost itching some days to have someone say something snarky 😀 . the way I figure it, my body my life my rules . Don’t like it don’t look. No one wants to see that? Well I’ve heard the same about your face, are we done? 😀

  4. I am all for nursing as a soon to be mom of three. In six years there has never been a situation where I couldn’t find some privacy. It isn’t only men I want to be modest in front of, it is other people’s children. It is not any woman’s right or responsibility to educate my kids about the purpose of boobs. I certainly would never make assumptions about what another woman believes is appropriate exposure/information/knowledge where her kids are concerned. So as natural and wonderful as nursing is, it is just more considerate to others to keep it private. So the opposite side of this discussion would be, “pooping is natural too. But my children and i don’t take dumps wherever we please. We make a little effort for the peoples sake.”

  5. One time, I was breastfeeding my 3 month old while walking through Target (now, mind you I’m a young mom, only 20, and I’m a slightly heavier set woman, but hell, I just had a baby damnit!).
    Anyway, some teenage girl, probably 17 or so, gave me the nastiest look. She then proceeded to turn to her friend and say “Damn that’s so nasty.”
    So, I turned to her, and promptly said, “If you have a problem, PLEASE say it to my face, because I WILL drop you right here with a baby STILL attached to my tit. Thanks!”
    She then all but ran away. It felt pretty amazing.

  6. I’m nowhere near polite enough to use any of these comebacks. XP Who knows though. Mine isn’t due until next March, and I plan to breastfeed exclusively, so we’ll see if anyone says something when i whip one out in the mall or something. It’s my legal right to feed my child whenever and wherever they get hungry. Period.

  7. I have said some good comebacks when my friend was breast feeding. I’d look at them and say I’d feed him but I’m dry, or sorry that you look at boobs to be sexual when they hold food. Or where do you think cows milk comes from? A big as breast pump! Or are you offended by animals feeding their young? Or I could show you mine to get him feeding out of yours b

  8. I actually had a working gal come up to me at an airport and ask if I had anything to cover up with as I sat feeding my 4 week old. But I said “no. do you!?”. She dint say anything after that and just walked away.

  9. Breastfeeding for 21 months with baby number 4. And 55 months total breastfeeding all my children combined. I’ve seen people look, cough, and walk out. That’s ok. That is their choice.


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