I have had a love/hate relationship with public breastfeeding. I love being able to breastfeed my infant son, but I hate that nursing in public still has a stigma attached.
I have nursed all over Columbia in the past three months since having my second child … stores, parks, restaurants, you name a place and there’s a good chance I’ve whipped out a boob there. I am grateful that so far no one has questioned or harassed me, but I know that is not the case for many of my breastfeeding sisters.
If someone had approached me when I was feeding my firstborn, who I had a terribly tough time breastfeeding in the first place, I would have cried my eyes out. My relationship with breastfeeding was shaky at best and being a new mother I might have given up entirely. I luckily have a great support system of moms and dads who a very pro-public feeding. And I have mastered, I think, semi-discreet nursing. Maybe I get dirty looks but am too busy minding my own darn business to notice.
For those mamas who breastfeed in public and may be harassed, here are 10 witty comebacks to throw out … I hope you never have to use them…
1. I’m sorry you find nourishing my child so offensive that you felt the need to be rude to a complete stranger.
2. Did you miss the day in biology class explaining the true purpose of boobies?
3. Do you normally chow down in the bathroom? I don’t know about you, but I am not a fan of steak and urinal cake.
4. Are you hangry? He will be done in a minute if you want a snack.
5. You’re really this upset about me breastfeeding my child? Let me guess, mommy issues.
6. She doesn’t really like to be smothered by a blanket, but feel free to wrap it around your own head.
7. You just saw a little nip slip? You must be really offended at public pools.
8. My husband is a huge supporter, actually. He paid for these suckers and wants to make sure he gets his money worth.
9. I could go do this in the car, but I’m scoping out which one to steal first. What do you drive?
10. Scream at the top of your lungs – “Quit staring at my boobs, perv!” And then squirt him in the eye with breast milk.
I love these witty comebacks. I’ve been breastfeeding for almost five months and have been lucky no one has said anything while I’ve done so in public. I think most of the time it is me being busy worried covering myself that no one is looking. I hope that I don’t need to use these but I’m glad I will have something to say if it does happen!
I hope you don’t need them either, Diana! Congrats on a successful 5 months and thanks for reading! 🙂
Thank you for these! Number 10 was my favorite! 🙂
I breastfed 4 kids all but the first for over a year (actually, over 18 months). I never once had anyone behave rudely or ask me to do it elsewhere or cover up. Is my my kids now range from 25 to 5 so have things gotten worse in the past 5 years or people just walking around with their boobs hanging out looking for confrontation?
It gotten worse. My oldest is 3.5 years and my youngest just over 1 year. I notice a difference, and not a good difference…
I’ve been kind of cringing, waiting for someone to say something when I have to nurse. I took my older child to get his hair cut today and I brought a bottle for the infant, but the wait was longer than I expected so I wound up having to nurse. The lady cutting my son’s hair looked over at me and I started to bristle, waiting for an admonition, but she actually said she thought it was wonderful that I was nursing and she wished more mommas would. That brightened my day a bit.
What a wonderful experience! I hope you receive nothing but positive acknowledgment in the future.
Awesome! I’ve been breastfeeding my son for 16 months. No.one has ever said anything to me. Luckily!
good for you, mama! Thanks for reading!
I absolutely love this!!! A couple of them made me laugh so hard I had to share on FB. My husband thought they were funny too! I nursed One baby for 2.5 years and still nursing my 1 year old birthday boy today!! I have and always will nurse in public who cares about haters?!
My daughter is 6 weeks old and I’ve only gotten positive comments so far, but I would look them in the eye, smile, and wink!
All though my husband supports breastfeeding our five month old he likes that I use a cover (it’s more for me than anything) the other day we had to take my oldest child to minor emergency in the rush too get out the house I didn’t bring a cover so I just whipped it out too fed my baby kid got to eat right. My husband looked at me with shock and almost worry and asked me “what if the doctor walks in and your doing that” I looked at him and said “I’m sure he seen worse things than someone feeding their baby he’s a doctor if he doesn’t know what boobs are for we are at the wrong place.” He left me be after that
I’ve been feeding 14mths and had hassle from week one! I generally can’t feed in public now after being called a pervert for making a child perform sex acts in public. It’s sad but happens a lot where I live.
That’s horrendous, where do you live?
I love these comebacks. I wish I had them a few weeks ago during the holidays when my family and I went shopping at a mall. I had to feed my 11 month old son but all the seats were taken, so I just feed him standing up. I sometimes use a cover but I was already struggling with the standing and having to keep an eye on my other toddler and all the bags. I’ve decided it would be so much easier if I just whipped it out. Lol. An older couple probably in their 60s looked at me with disgust and the women said to me to get a blanket or use my jacket. I told her I had enough to worry about at this moment than to worry about her and her husbands opinion. Her husband got up and said what is with this generation and their desire to show what God intended to be left in the bedroom. So I grabbed all my bags sat where they were sitting and said to them obviously you have no idea what your talking about but enjoy the rest of your day and thanks for the seats!