One Mom’s Journey From Introvert to Extroverted Introvert {yes, it’s a thing}

0

Lots of things happen when you take that leap from person to parent. Aside from gaining an additional identity (parent; “So and so’s mom”; etc.), an immense amount of responsibility, and an (at times) uncontrollable fear of irrational scenarios (I can’t be alone with this), you are pushed. I am not talking about the buttons your kids’ push, I am talking about being pushed from comfort zones. Pushed to new identities and personalities.

As a young, single person, you were in control of what you did, who you saw, for how long, and so on. You wanted to go to a party, you went. You wanted to leave said party, you did. Didn’t want to drive to the store, you ate whatever you could make, even if it didn’t count as a meal (Ramen is not a meal).

As you entered into a relationship, you learned that for it to be a successful one, you had to bend a little. Or, for the sake of this post, you had to be pushed out of comfort zones to make your relationship better. This is more socially referred to as ‘compromising’. Last week you picked the romantic comedy the two of you rented for your movie night. This week, it’s a trashy two-star action flick with their favorite star.

The example is silly and simple but you get the picture. As we enter each stage of our lives, we are pushed from comfort zones. In most cases, these little pushes are healthy and contribute to our growth as adults.

Before children and marriage, I was an Introvert. I enjoyed my personal space and time alone. I didn’t really do crowds. I preferred to sit back in a room full of people and just watch, avoiding conversation at all costs. And after being in a busy environment for an extended period of time, I needed time alone to recharge and reflect. I got to a point where I can’t ‘people’ anymore. I enjoyed a quiet and planned-well-in-advance night out on the town with my loved one, in the company of another like-minded couple, or just the two of us.

Today I write these words as a mother and wife. I get little to no personal space. I am constantly followed by a small crowd of humans who rely on me for nearly everything. I walk up to the other moms at a birthday party and engage in genuine and meaningful conversations. After being in a busy environment for an extended period of time, I have three children who are usually hangry, overstimulated, overtired, and overall just requiring mom and without hesitation, I willingly give them all of me. I get my ‘me time’ while they sleep. And enjoy prearranged date nights with a qualified sitter who I am paying $20/hr to watch Netflix.

Every day my children push me. I am now what is referred to as an Extroverted Introvert. Meaning I can be social, but it’s on my terms. I will strike up a meaningful conversation (no small talk) with random folks like there is no tomorrow, but I can only do it for a set amount of time. Then I am done, and I need a recharge. I am open to meeting new people, but give me a heads up so I can mentally prepare. While I may be deep in conversation with you, I am still very much in my head at the same time, thinking and analyzing everything going on around us. I don’t like spontaneity, and seek organization so I will often step in to lead so I can be in control.

As much as I never saw myself as an extrovert, I appreciate this new identity. It’s like I get to see what life on the other side is like, without jumping in front of the crowd.

Did you see a shift in your personality when you became a parent?

Previous article5 Reasons Why I Love Having a Threenager
Next articleA Working Mom and Stay-at-Home Mom Start to Talk … and Something Amazing Happens
Katie Stevens
A transplant from the frigid winters of New Hampshire, Katie and her family moved to the ‘Famously Hot’ Columbia in Fall 2015. She is married to her high school sweetheart Richard, and together they have three little humans; Maddox (5), Thatcher (3) and Chloe (10m), and a dog, Cabela. Katie spends her week days at her 9-5 in at USC School of Medicine, rushing her oldest to soccer practice, and letting the kids have cereal for dinner, cause ‘ain’t nobody got time for that’. The weekends (which she lives for), are spent at the state park, the zoo, or a magnitude of other fun places. As a fan of calligraphy, hand lettering, and DIY projects that all require hours of free time and buckets of money, you can find Katie scrolling Pinterest during late night feeding sessions, filling her boards with beautiful projects she’ll never have the time to do. Katie also enjoys spending her ‘spare’ time running her blog From North to South.

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here