Mother’s Day can be tough to celebrate when you are the parent of small children; children not old enough to know what Mother’s Day is, or to do anything without the help of another adult to let mom know how special she is.
Mother’s Day is difficult for me, mainly because I have a complex relationship with my own mother, and I am still working out several complicated emotions about what motherhood means to me. I am the parent of an almost-three-year-old girl. I have been a SAHM with her since she was born. She is my shadow and currently isn’t super into daddy, which has made things rough lately and left me feeling burned out.
Our daughter hit another sleep regression phase last week, which greatly affects my sleep and only sometimes affects my husband’s sleep – this causes issues in my house. I am not a morning person and when my sleep gets affected, I struggle and I get a little angry, to be honest. I can still function pretty well, but it is draining. My daughter wants mommy, and only mommy, to comfort her at all times and in all situations. My husband does step in frequently but is met with “I DON’T LIKE DADDY,” and “NO ONLY MOMMY!” I know this hurts him, and we understand it will change, but right now it seems like this will drag on forever.
I completely understand this comes with the territory of being three years old, and I am immensely thankful for the opportunity and privilege to stay home with my daughter. Being a SAHM is not what everyone wants, and that is OK.
I knew once my daughter was born that I wanted to be with her until she starts school full time, and luckily we have been able to make it work so far. She began attending half-day preschool before the age of two and will continue in that until kindergarten.
Even with my daughter attending school, it’s still challenging to meet all of my family’s demands and needs in the way that I would like. I would love to be the mom that has it all together and isn’t constantly exasperated.
I wanted the beautiful lengthy Facebook tribute from my husband on Mother’s Day about all the wonderful things I do. (Although, that’s not really his style. He hates social media.) I wanted my husband to take time to have our daughter make a craft or something for me, instead of her teachers and my mom doing it. I wanted the whining to stop (I know this one will never happen). I wanted to sleep uninterrupted for eight hours. I REALLY WANTED to use the bathroom without my child walking in and wanting to see what color is in the toilet (so gross).
I was hoping at least one thing off that list would have happened on Mother’s Day, but it didn’t. Not this year. So, I’m feeling a little let down, knowing my child doesn’t really know what is going on, and that my husband is exhausted, overworked, and doesn’t have the same love language as me.
Being a mom is without a doubt the best thing I will do with my life. Now that I am a mother I have a sense of completeness in my life that I never knew was missing – but hopefully, as our daughter gets older, I will be able to have a real relaxing day to myself. Until then, I’m finding beauty and joy in the little moments.