The Babysitter Village :: Embracing a Variety of Childcare Helpers

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I distinctly remember a conversation I had with someone shortly after returning to work after having my first child. She was talking about her son and mentioned that he and his wife had decided not to have children at all because they both had demanding careers, and just could not fathom having someone else raise their children.

Call me a hormonal mess, but I couldn’t decide whether to run to the bathroom and cry, turn in my two-week resignation and drive to the daycare center and pick up my tiny girl, or snap back with some sort of quick and witty remark about some people being able to do both and do both well. So I did nothing. And when the conversation was over I walked away with my first, but certainly not my last, ugly pang of mom guilt rising up through my gut and catching in my throat.

When my kids were small I remember feeling stressed and guilty every time I hired a sitter. And as many working parents do, we hired them a lot. No joke, our kids have probably had well over 100 different sitters over the last 11 years. Before you cough under your breath and raise a skeptical brow, just hear me out.
 Having a bevy of babysitters was never my “parental game plan.”

I was raised in a family with a working dad and a stay-at-home mom, and I had a set of grandparents living right next door. I don’t think I ever had a sitter who was not family. It was great, but as is the case with everything in childrearing, one way is not the only way.

As my girls are getting older, I have come to realize that having a variety of caregivers has helped shape and teach our kids, and given them a variety of perspectives. Here are just a few of the sitter situations that I firmly believe have benefitted our kids over the years.

1. Almost Poppins 

When our second baby was born, we had a six-month time frame to fill before a full-time spot opened up at the church daycare where our firstborn was enrolled. Y’all, I was sweating it. What was I going to do?

By word of mouth in the grocery checkout line, I learned of a well-respected nanny who was just finishing up a stint with another family and would potentially be looking for another job. She was amazing. I tend to be a bit (OK a lot) high-key, and she was calm and mellow; a veritable baby whisperer.

I loved the fact that I could leave my three-month-old asleep in her bed in her cozy footie pajamas and not have to take her out into the cold.

I loved how our nanny would sing to her and teach her songs that were not in my repertoire like “Zoom, zoom, zoom, we’re going to the moon,” and “Friends, friends, one two three – All my friends are here with me.”

I loved how she would take our baby on stroller rides to the park on warm afternoons. I still have her hand-written recipe for banana bread and make it about once a month.

I’m just so grateful for her floating in, right when we needed her.

2. Collegiate Connection 

Living in a college town has its perks. Especially if you can get in with a sorority that has a robust (and continuously updating) list of energetic, smart and experienced sitters. These sitters also double as tutors and boo-boo menders, as a good many are aspiring teachers and doctors.

And they are just downright fun.

I think my 11-year-old is already ready for college, has selected a major, a collegiate sport, and knows exactly what sorority she wants to join because of the ambitious young ladies who help us fill the gap between 2:30-5:30, Monday through Friday.

3. High School Helpers

We have a list of high school sitters from our church. Many of them live in our neighborhood as well. The benefit of having high school sitters helping out from time to time is that they are still young enough to remember exactly what it feels like to be a kid.

They are not afraid to be silly and make up games. They will run around in the yard. They will go off the diving board at the pool. And recently, our kids have opened up to high school sitters who lend a kind and patient ear about friend drama and school fears.

4. Compassionate Co-workers

On more than one occasion I have had a meeting or presentation pop up on a teacher work day or school holiday and a co-worker has come to the rescue. Whether it was coming to my house to watch a child for a few hours or keeping an eye on my kids in my office while I had to run down the hall to a meeting, my office workplace is truly a village.

And one thing kids love is “work papers.” All you have to do is show them the company recycling bin and a few highlighters and they will be busy for hours playing office and learning about expense reports or banquet event orders. Intern anyone?

5. Nanny Grannies (and Grandads, and G-Daddies)

With my parents living in another state and my husband’s parents both working full-time when our girls were small, we were not able to call on them for daily care, but they have always jumped in with both feet (and a whole lot of baked goods) whenever they possibly could. There is no peace of mind like knowing your kids are with their grandparents. It’s like manners camp with glitter.

To this day if you sing “Zoom zoom zoom, we’re going to the moon,” our eight-year-old will stop what she’s doing and smile. She may not have distinct memories of her time with the nanny, but tiny impressions are being made on their tiny hearts from all of the people who care for them.

And while my husband and I are most definitely the ones “raising” our children, we know our situation dictates that we cannot be at their side all the time. We are OK with that. Our kids are OK with that. Anyone bringing the guilt trap can, um, go fly a kite. 

Can you relate? How have different childcare providers made a difference in your child’s life?

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Kelly Barbrey
Kelly Barbrey is an early riser, old soul and retail therapy expert. She is a wife to Jonathan and a mom to two strong-willed daughters, born in 2007 and 2010. Kelly grew up in Atlanta, GA and earned a degree in magazine journalism from The University of Georgia. She has worked full time in tourism marketing for Experience Columbia SC since 2004, where she loves to share all the exciting things happening in Columbia, SC with potential travelers. When she’s not working or wrangling kids, she enjoys date nights with her husband at local restaurants, exercise, reading and sharing real and humorous accounts of life, motherhood and nostalgia on her blog, Up Early + Often.

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