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Last fall, I had the chance to pretend to be a rock star for a night. Feeling the need to do something daring and out of character, and knowing getting bangs was NOT the answer, I signed up to participate in the Girls Rock Columbia Rock Roulette. Musician wannabes could band together (pun intended), and storm the stage for a good cause, to raise money for an amazing organization that empowers young girls and trans youth.

So I signed up and was paired with three phenomenal women who were patient while I learned to play exactly three notes on the keyboard. One of my favorite nights was the four of us, partner and child-free and eating sweets that we didn’t have to share or eat while hiding in the bathroom/car, throwing out ideas for our original song that we would perform. I thought you all might get a kick out of the lyrics. If you have seen the GotToddlered hashtag, or had the feeling that you’re not as cool as you once were, this song is for you. 


An Original Composition


On Tuesday these plans sounded great

But by Friday what excuse can I make

I’m much more of a happy hour girl

So i’m home by 9 to knit and purl.



Look at the time

It’s half past nine

My mid-life crisis

Is that I’m tired


I used to shut down the bar

Now I can’t find my car….keys

Why did this concert start so late.

I really wanted to be home by 8.



#thisis30. This bathroom is really dirty.

Call the cab, I’m closing my tab

I’m out of my mind for being out past nine.

Noone else is wearing mom jeans,

This is clearly not my social scene.

I need a British show to stream.

I like to think I’m still young and hip,

but my go to dance move is to dip, baby, dip

I don’t think the running man is still dope

My teenage daughters say definitely nope.


My lower back inexplicably hurts

All I did today was work, work work.

I walked into the kitchen 3 times

And I still can not remember why.


Is this what happens when you get old

Under eye bags and no bladder control?

I’m glad you called, but my bra is off

Netflix and chill, where’s my sleeping pill

Look at the time, asleep by 9, i’ll be up at 5, call me some other time.




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Sarah Shuster
Sarah grew up in Lancaster, SC but has called Columbia home for nearly 10 years since her undergrad days at Presbyterian College. Columbia holds a special place in her heart, as it’s where she got her first “grown up” job, obtained her Masters of Library and Information Science degree from USC, and met her husband, Todd. She became a mother for the first time three years ago to Todd’s two sweet daughters, and loves watching them grow into unique and interesting young ladies (12 & 14) who inspire her daily. She is also experiencing life with an infant for the first time with their newest family member, a silly, happy 6-month-old baby boy. Sarah is a full time children’s librarian, and loves that her passion and her career have aligned to form dreamy days of sharing her love of literacy and learning with children and families. Sarah enjoys practicing her cake decorating skills, reading, brunch, ridiculously long showers (a luxury now with an infant), working out, good coffee and perfecting the art of crockpot cooking.


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