Last fall, I had the chance to pretend to be a rock star for a night. Feeling the need to do something daring and out of character, and knowing getting bangs was NOT the answer, I signed up to participate in the Girls Rock Columbia Rock Roulette. Musician wannabes could band together (pun intended), and storm the stage for a good cause, to raise money for an amazing organization that empowers young girls and trans youth.
So I signed up and was paired with three phenomenal women who were patient while I learned to play exactly three notes on the keyboard. One of my favorite nights was the four of us, partner and child-free and eating sweets that we didn’t have to share or eat while hiding in the bathroom/car, throwing out ideas for our original song that we would perform. I thought you all might get a kick out of the lyrics. If you have seen the GotToddlered hashtag, or had the feeling that you’re not as cool as you once were, this song is for you.
An Original Composition
On Tuesday these plans sounded great
But by Friday what excuse can I make
I’m much more of a happy hour girl
So i’m home by 9 to knit and purl.
Look at the time
It’s half past nine
My mid-life crisis
Is that I’m tired
I used to shut down the bar
Now I can’t find my car….keys
Why did this concert start so late.
I really wanted to be home by 8.
#thisis30. This bathroom is really dirty.
Call the cab, I’m closing my tab
I’m out of my mind for being out past nine.
Noone else is wearing mom jeans,
This is clearly not my social scene.
I need a British show to stream.
I like to think I’m still young and hip,
but my go to dance move is to dip, baby, dip
I don’t think the running man is still dope
My teenage daughters say definitely nope.
My lower back inexplicably hurts
All I did today was work, work work.
I walked into the kitchen 3 times
And I still can not remember why.
Is this what happens when you get old
Under eye bags and no bladder control?
I’m glad you called, but my bra is off
Netflix and chill, where’s my sleeping pill
Look at the time, asleep by 9, i’ll be up at 5, call me some other time.