Halloween has always been my favorite day of the year. The earliest Halloween I remember is when my mom dressed my sister and me up in one of those costumes with the plastic mask that you can’t see out of. (And of all things, it was a clown, which I am deathly afraid of. But I digress.)
The last Halloween I remember actually dressing up and trick-or-treating was when I was in the 9th grade, so I would have been about 13. Most of my friends had already stopped trick or treating in the 7th or 8th grade (circa 1995 and 1996).
I didn’t venture back out into the Halloween trick-or-treating scene until 2006 when my daughter Alyssa was about 2 years old. Before then, I wouldn’t even man the door to hand out candy (more than likely I was in the house watching It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown or Hocus Pocus, which you can never be too old to do). So, it had been a while since I experienced trick-or-treating. And that year, my first Halloween taking a child out, I realized times were changing.
That year I did think it was a little strange to see older kids out. We only went to three houses, and only stayed out long enough for me to put her in her costume, snap a pic and call it a night. So, we didn’t really get the full picture.
By 2010, when my son, Andrew, was old enough to go out (Alyssa was six by then), a lot of the neighbors who had smaller children told me they would not participate in neighborhood trick-or-treating because of the previous years when the older kids would take all of the candy from the younger ones. I thought those moms were being over-dramatic, to say the least.
However, I was wrong — not only were they not being over-dramatic, but their complaints were valid. One house after the other, I saw a group of teens pick up bowls of candy and dump the entire contents into their bags. It also seemed to be more common that people would just sit entire bowls of candy on their porch simply leaving a note saying to “take one piece.”
All I could think was, “Seriously?” And this is to the teens and the bowls of candy being left on the porch.
This continued pretty much most of the evening. There were not many houses that were participating anymore. Alyssa and Andrew ended up with maybe 10 pieces of candy each that evening. Which was really no biggie. But if all those families had responded to teenage trick-or-treaters by backing out of the festivities, it begs the question, “At what age do you stop trick-or-treating?”
A night for little kids only
Growing up, you were classified as being “lame” (at least at my school) if you went trick-or-treating as a teen, even if it was to take out a younger sibling. I remember not wanting to take my little brother out because it was taboo (he was 9 years younger).
But by the time I had my two older children at 25, my brother was in high school and things were different. Now he was one of those trick-or-treating teens who was dumping buckets of candy into his bag (and yes, I told my mom on him).
You could possibly say now I am being the over-dramatic mother, who wants her precious snowflakes to have all of the candy and eat themselves into a sugar-induced coma for the night. And you are right — I AM (at least I’m not denying it, right?).
But to me, that is what Halloween is about. It’s the one day of the year I let go of the “crunchiness” (something that doesn’t even happen on birthdays in my house). Of course, all that truly matters is that we spend time together but come on — my favorite part as a kid was the candy binge afterward, and my dad making us brush our teeth fifty times before bed, and another fifty-first thing in the morning.
Seeing the other side of things
Is it really fair to expect teenagers or those older to not trick-or-treat? Teens aren’t quite old enough to have the college Halloween experience (which we shall not discuss here, no matter how awesome it was), but they are still too old in some people’s eye’s to fully trick-or-treat. So, it’s a tough spot for them to be in.
We like to lament how teenagers grow up too soon anyway, right? So why rush to punish them because of their age, by taking Halloween away from them?
Friends with older kids told me that there are countless cities across America that have instated an age ban (no kids over 12).
I imagine that when Alyssa hits age 12 (she is 10 now), then I will understand the teenagers’ point of view. She is one of those kids who genuinely enjoys Halloween and dressing up, and I can see how some say it isn’t fair for these kids to be banned from trick-or-treating. For some teens, the pressure of constantly trying to fit in and do what is socially acceptable is let go for this one night. They can dress up and be a kid again.
Unacceptable behavior and what to do about it
I have had friends say when teens come to their doors, they refuse to give them candy. At first, I would have said that’s completely unfair. But that was pre-children.
If the teens were in full costume and not just going from house to house, dumping the buckets of candy in their bags, and laughing about taking it from little kids, then I would say it’s unacceptable to be that way towards them.
But to be honest, most of the teens I’ve seen out are in regular clothes. And after seeing how some of these groups can ruin the Halloween experience for little kids, I am not all surprised that some families turn them away.
The obnoxious behavior is what irritates me, and it is the behavior of these teens that make it hard for some families who are out with their young children to enjoy the evening.
My take on it
I don’t agree with cities/towns that institute a one-size-fits-all ban. It’s punishing those who are genuinely trying to have fun, along with those who are being rude. But I do feel as if something needs to be done, something that doesn’t involve me leaving my neighborhood or having to keep my kids in the house because of other people’s kids.
I understand that not all teens want to dress up; I will concede that it may be embarrassing for them to put on a costume in front of their friends just for the sake of collecting candy. There are far worse things that teens could be doing, right? So why not let them hold on to that tiny part of their childhood for this one night, if they aren’t causing trouble?
If teens want to trick or treat respectfully, I am all for it … but how about saving some candy for the younger kids? (And their parents too — let’s not pretend you don’t raid the candy bag after the little ones go to bed, or is that just me and my husband?)
One final note: If this picture doesn’t indicate how awesome it is to dress up and act like a kid again once you are older, then I don’t know what does.
For another point of view, read this piece from Huffington Post, written by the mother of a teenage trick-or-treater.
How do you feel about teens coming to your house on Halloween? Does it matter if they are in costume?