Unfortunately, most of us were teased at school, by a family member or a friend for something. No one’s body or appearance is perfect. Whether this was done in jest or just plain meanness – it hurts. It takes maturity (which most children are not born with) to ignore the haters.
I’m sure there are a lot of women who can associate with what I am about to say. I used to get teased for my hair when I was younger. Curly and frizzy … it didn’t look like my peers. It’s always been a sore subject for me.
When it comes to the hair department, I don’t quite fit in. I’m Caucasian and traditional products made for my hair don’t work. I discovered the products that work best for me are those made for African American or mixed culture hair … which would sometimes cause some strange looks from shoppers in the aisles … leading to more feelings of not fitting in.
According to my 23andMe DNA testing, I am of Northern European decent but 2-5% African. I have always had some shade of dirty blonde super frizzy curly hair. My mom would always tell me how pretty my curls were. Well meaning adults would say, “I bet you wish your hair were straight,” “People would kill for hair like yours,” “Your hair is so pretty.”
But I always hated my hair, and wondered what it would be like if it were straight, questioning why I didn’t have hair like my Caucasian friends.
Back in 2015, Dove came out with a campaign called, Love Your Curls. I literally cried after I watched this commercial for the first time and it still sparks a lot of emotion for me. It helped me embrace my texture, and realize there were others out there who felt the same way I did. And that having curly hair is a beautiful, wonderful thing. Even if you don’t have curly hair, this video has such a powerful message about loving the skin you’re in, and I encourage you to watch it … as well as lift up those around you who have curly hair.
In my early 20s, right when I was struggling to love my hair, I asked my hairstylist at the time to put a relaxer on it. I liked it at first but that night I cried myself to sleep because I missed my curls. It wasn’t until I was in my mid to late 20s that I started to accept my hair and love it. And campaigns like Dove’s helped so much.
Through a little bit more maturity and aging I have learned to accept that I am who I am so I might as well accept that. Of course every day we should strive to be better than the person that we were the day before but I no longer wish that I had straight hair. I straighten my hair once or twice every few months just for fun but usually I embrace my curls.
If you know a little girl with crazy frizzy curly hair, tell her her curls are beautiful! If you’re a woman who has beautiful curly hair who straightens it every day, stop! Embrace your beautiful curls. If you’re a mama of a curly headed little girl, check out The Curly Girl Method. Trust me, it will save your life.
Some products that I love are Curls Crème Brule or any Curls products, Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl Enhancing Smoothie and DevaCurl products. Also, find a hair stylist who has had curly hair training or specializes in DevaCurl cuts. Some local stylists that specialize in these types of hair cuts are Aly Garcia at Salon Rutz in Lexington, Shine Hair Color & Design Studio in Columbia, and Rock Paper Scissors Salon in Columbia.
Great article. I’m a mom of mixed race girls and I always tell my oldest how beautiful her curls are. I use “curly kids” products for mixed race hair. However I have been using a blow dryer with a diffuser because my oldest ‘s hair is long and it would take forever to air dry. I also don’t like the idea of air drying in cold weather. But I’ve found that the blow dryer seems to take the curl out and just leaves the frizz. Very frustrating.
Thank you so much! I also use a blow dryer with a diffuser when I have time (I have five children). My hair is short, so it air dries pretty fast. After I wrote this article I got a Brazilian Blowout. Once you wash her hair after the service it goes back curly but without the frizz! I also noticed my hair wasn’t falling out like it was before after I had the blowout. She will need one every three months and they are pricey. I have been going to our local high school’s learning center and the seniors who are about to graduate with their cosmetology license have been doing my Brazilian Blowout. It’s around $100 cheaper there than a regular hair salon. Also, If you have any cosmetology schools in your area I would check and see if they offer Brazilian Blowouts.