When Mom Goes Back to School, Too

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We think of back-to-school time as something for kids. That’s true in my house, as this month my two-year-old son started preschool twice a week. But it’s also back-to-school time for me, as I continue my education part-time at the University of South Carolina. As long as everything goes as planned, I should graduate with my BA in anthropology in May. Fingers crossed!

This is not the first time I am attending college, and I have definitely found a few differences now that I am a mom.

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Lindsey with her husband and son. Image by Bethany K. Photography.

I have to be willing to make sacrifices to do well in school

Sometimes we eat fast food instead of a home-cooked meal. Often my house is not as clean as I would like it to be (but that could also be because I have a two-year-old). Sometimes, I have to say no to playdates or activities with my adult friends because I have homework. It makes me feel like I’m back in high school, except now I am actually allowed to have a glass of wine before bed, and I have to pay the bills. (The pros and cons of being an adult, I guess.)

Sometimes I put on a movie or take my son over to his grandmother’s house or a babysitter so I can get my homework done. This one is the hardest for me. My son is my number one priority, but I also have to do well in school. Choosing to let someone else play with my son, even if that person is my husband or his grandmother, is never going to be easy for me. I know that one day my son will understand why I’m making these sacrifices, but for now, I swallow my guilt and keep pushing on toward the finish.

I feel out of place

While not usually the oldest person in my classes, I am often far outnumbered by people who have no idea who The Goonies are. I’m only 27 years old, but to some of these kids, I might as well be 107. Being in “mommy mode” for these last 2+ years means I have almost no idea what is going on in pop culture at the moment. I’m fine with that — I’m more concerned with making sure we have food to eat and that my son is not coloring on the walls than I am with the latest celebrity scandal. And in most of my classes, there has been at least one other mom that can relate to everything I’m going through. It’s nice knowing I’m not alone on this journey and that someone is making the same sacrifices I am.

I want it more now than I ever did before

When I was 18, college was something that was expected. It was something to do so you could get a good job one day, but it was almost more so about the social experience. Yes, I wanted to have a 4.0, but I also wanted to go to that party, hang out with my boyfriend, and in general, just be a kid.

Now that I have a kid, my priorities have changed. I’m not going to college simply because it is expected; I’m continuing my education to improve myself and so that I can one day get a job that will help support my family. I have to have a 4.0 so I can make up for my not-so-great transfer grades and I can get into graduate school … and because if I’m sacrificing time with my son to do this, I’m not going to do it half-assed.

I come straight home after class because I have to trade off childcare duties with a husband who works nights and because I’d rather spend time with my husband and child than do anything else. (Plus, hangovers are no fun with a rambunctious two-year-old!) Yes, this makes it harder to make new friends in my classes, but it’s not impossible.

Though every day I’m in school is hard, it is also completely worth it! I can’t wait to be finished and walk across that stage next year with my husband and son cheering me on from the crowd!

Are you balancing school and motherhood, too? Tell us about your experience in the comments.

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Lindsey Young
In 2011, as Lindsey Young was anxiously awaiting her transfer acceptance letter from the University of South Carolina, she unexpectedly found herself pregnant! It turns out God actually did have a plan, because the next year a perfect baby boy was born and a year after that, she and her baby daddy tied the knot! (Yes, we are aware we did things backward, but I wouldn’t change a thing about it!) Since then, her life has revolved around the tiny terrorist making demands and trying to balance life as a wife, mother, part-time college student, friend, short-order cook, maid, etc., with a husband that works nights. (Though she doesn’t always feel successful!) Lindsey is due to receive her Bachelor of Arts Degree in Anthropology from the University of South Carolina in May 2015. Traveling abroad the first time she went to college left her fascinated with other cultures and she is thrilled to get the chance to study the “Tribe of Motherhood” firsthand. She is also due to begin her training as a Birth Doula in October of 2014. Lindsey would like to be an advocate for women’s health education and natural birth options, though she has never had a natural birth herself. Next time though! Lindsey's husband is an Irmo, SC, native and was stationed at Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point for 5 years. Even though Cherry Point is only 30 minutes away from where Lindsey grew up in Morehead City, North Carolina, they met in Columbia, SC in 2010 while singing karaoke.

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