I was pleased when I heard about Target’s decision to reorganize their toy and bedding sections to be more logical.
However, despite my reaction, it hardly made a blip on my radar. A momentary “good for them.” Beyond that, it didn’t even top my list of “Things To Ponder.”
Apparently not everyone agreed with me. Over the next few days, the Internet exploded with accusations that Target was “caving into liberals,” was to be boycotted, was to be blamed for loss of gender identity in America, even some claiming their actions would influence children to choose a transgender identity.
All this controversy over something as simple as signs made me think a little deeper….
I’ve heard it said the signs around your house will become your part of your children’s self-talk, their subconscious, as they grow. I imagine this would also be true of the signs in the stores they frequent.
I took the opportunity to examine my own mind for childhood memories of signs. Sure enough, in the halls of my memory, I found a lot of them. I remember the quote from Martin Niemoller, and adages about the importance of education. I remembered the stained glass pictures in the church windows depicting important Biblical scenes. I remember going to Food Lion, and always being excited to follow the colored lines on the floor. I pondered their meaning in my 4-year-old mind: Did the brown line lead to meat, and the yellow one to bananas? These signs were mysteries that helped my young mind make sense of the world, that helped shaped my intentions as an adult.
So, perhaps a child did not define themselves as a certain gender by the signs in the toy aisle. I applaud their self-confidence; that is truly awesome.
But what messages might the sign for the “girl” building set teach a young mind to imply, if not gender identity? Essentially, that boys and girls are different, and that is important enough to require we like/be different things.
Fair enough, we are different. There is not escaping biology, the xy chromosomes that determine what is between our legs, and the chromosomes that dictate how male and female brains are different. We can’t escape “nature,” nor can we change it.
But how about “nurture?” Should our society really teach our kids, albeit subconsciously, that girls need different tools and decorations? That they should embrace the color pink and beautiful princesses, whereas boys should eschew it? It seems like it is not a big deal — just some bed linens and some toys, so what?
Except, yes, little things that don’t seem to be a big deal can make a huge impact. Teaching that girls are different in a way that requires labeling, that they are not part of the norm is harmful. Not just to females, but to everyone. We all live in the cycles of society and Earth together. What affects one person ultimately affects all, similar to the butterfly effect.
Over time, we see how people collectively embrace this idea of “boys like/are this, girls like/are that” in many arenas in life — relationships, in choice of professions, etc. One example, the gender ratio is imbalanced in many STEM and leadership jobs, whereas caretaker positions are almost primarily female. Since careers are a major part of a person’s adult life, it is fair to say gender is a major influence.
Every single person, regardless of gender, has experienced gender inequality. We cannot avoid the inequality from nature, e.g. women living longer, or more males being conceived. We can change how we nurture gender relations, from an individual and cultural standpoint. The best way to do this is to teach our children to respect each other as people, including minimizing passing on trivial, random cultural definitions of gender which serve no benefit to survival.
Whether aisle signs are a symptom of the problem, or a cause of the problem, isn’t really the issue. Target broke that cycle, and I applaud them.
Our children are just beginning the journey of life. They are like little vacuums for all clues in how to relate as a spiritual being in a physical world, to all identities society may dream up. Just as we shouldn’t post a sign dictating, “Building Blocks” and “Building Blocks for African-Americans,” we shouldn’t segregate by gender either.
