#1. “It’s a lifestyle.”
Granted a particular diet might be a lifestyle choice. Some people choose to be vegetarians or vegans. I choose, as much as possible, not to buy or eat factory farmed meat. These are lifestyle choices. However, people with food allergies or conditions like celiac disease or eosinophilic esophagitis are not morally opposed to gluten, dairy, eggs, soy or whatever food causes the problem. Trust me. I don’t have anything personal against wheat. Heck, I’d have a bagel over to my house for a martini any day. But I can’t eat so much as a communion wafer because gluten makes me ill. Plain and simple. This has nothing to do with lifestyle and choice.
#2. “That’s so trendy!”
My wedge sandals are trendy. My “Rachel haircut” in the 90’s was trendy. My gluten free diet is not. Never tell someone that their gluten free, dairy free, or soy free diet is trendy like a new pair of shoes. That’s insulting.
#3. “It’s psychosomatic.”
Yep. Someone actually told me this when I told him that I can’t eat gluten . . . and he’s a resident physician. I can only hope that he doesn’t say these types of things to his patients. Yes, many illnesses are psychosomatic. But it’s not your place to make that call for someone else. You are not their doctor evaluating their lab results, symptoms, whatever. If someone believes they are allergic to root beer, you’d better darn well take their word for it. I do believe that many modern conditions related to inflammation can be cured through addressing food allergies and intolerances. However, even if a condition is completely psychosomatic, it’s not your call to make — so don’t do it.
#4. “Have you heard of neuroplasticity? If you think a change will make you better, you will get better.”
The moment I turned down a piece of cake at a party with the explanation — no, I can’t eat gluten — this person brought up a book that he had just read on neuroplasticity. (For the record, he’s not a doctor.) In that second he assumed that I was a victim of the latest trendy diet and had thus had a “psychosomatic” cure for my “psychosomatic” illness. His response was inconsiderate and rude.
#5. “Good for you! I could never go without [insert Food A, B, or C]”
Don’t make it sound like going without a type of food is a matter of grit or self-discipline, like following a raw-foods-only diet. Someone with a food allergy knows what it’s like to be chronically sick. Good health is well worth the cost of giving up wheat, dairy, or whatever. Anyone with food allergies knows this. You might think this is a compliment, but it isn’t.
Have you had a similar experience or dealt with someone who didn’t understand food allergies? Share your experience below.
