Our family is currently in the midst of a big transition. Like big with a capital B.
Essentially overnight, we became a family of six when my husband and I became guardians of a teenager. As a result, our home is being rearranged to accommodate another person and we’re settling into a new normal and new schedules.
It’s been busy and chaotic. And our community has been there every step of the way for us.
When we moved to Columbia eight years ago, my husband and I knew two families. And that was it. We had only been married for two years, my husband was in grad school and we lived pretty far outside of downtown Columbia.
We do not have family nearby and quickly set out to find community. It took time and effort. Lots of time and effort. But after awhile, we found friends-who-are-family through a local church and I cannot imagine life without them.
These are the people who dropped everything when I had an emergency hospital stay. They brought food to my supportive husband and took care of my kids, so I could focus on treatment and recovery.
These are the people who have thrown baby showers for all three of my kids and celebrated their baby dedications, birthdays and shown up for school performances. They invest in my children’s’ lives frequently and consistently. Recently, they’ve brought dinner, surprise lattes, given us furniture, played with my kids and helped with house projects.
In large part, this community is why we haven’t left Columbia. Our families are scattered across the United States. No one is closer than a 12 hours drive away. My husband’s job is remote. So we really could move someplace else. But that would mean giving up the sweet and precious community we have. And we don’t want to.
That hasn’t always been the case. In the early days, I searched hard for community and came up short. It was exhausting. I wanted to leave Columbia. You may be reading this and feel like that now. And you’re not alone. I promise.
There are ways to find and foster community. It won’t happen overnight. But you can find it. I found mine at church but if you aren’t religious, you can find meaningful community in places. Might I make a few suggestions on where to look?
Library Story Time
What better place to find like-minded friends in a similar stage of life than the local library during story time? The Richland and Lexington library systems have great programs for young kids. Check their websites for times and dates.
MOPS Groups
MOPS stands for Mothers Of Preschoolers and has groups that meet in a variety of places. (You can visit their website to find one near you.) I attended one for a year and it met monthly. We were separated into smaller groups each meeting and got to know one another over the course of that year. I still keep in touch with a few of the ladies there that I met six years ago.
Preschool or Mother’s Morning Out
Talk to the moms at preschool pick-up or Mother’s Morning Out programs your kids are involved in. Chances are your kids already play with each other so why not schedule a play date and make a new friend in the process?
Join a Club
Got a fun hobby? There are knitting clubs and photography clubs and book clubs — any club you can think of, really — all across the Columbia region. This is a great way to make friends, especially if you’re looking for people outside of your mom circles. An Army wife told me whenever she moves, she always looks for clubs through meetup.com.
Exercise
Exercise is not my favorite thing to do. So why not do it with a friend who can help make it more fun and keep you motivated? Or a group of potential friends? I know several people who have made lasting relationships through stroller workouts and similar groups. They meet at different parks and workout, with their kids in tow! It’s a win-win.
As I reflect on the community that I’m part of, I am grateful for the ways these friends look out for me and my family. I am also appreciative of the ways I can provide community for them. Sending a card or text to say hi, cheering for their kids at that little league game or crying side by side…it doesn’t cost much, but the pay off is great.
