“We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives not looking for flaws, but for potential.”
~Ellen Goodman~
I’ve never really cared for New Years celebrations. I don’t like staying up late and I much prefer my sweatpants over dressing up. I’ve also never cared for the pressure that can come with New Years and making resolutions. There’s obviously nothing wrong with any of this if that’s your thing, but much of the time it has the opposite effect on me.
I don’t do well under pressure. I’ve never been a good test taker, and buckle when things get a little too hard. Fear of failure, I think. I probably need some counseling for that, but that’s for another day. Regardless, if I decide I’m going to make this year “my year” or start something in January, like a diet, exercise … whatever, I’m already setting myself to not succeed. I am looking at my life through the lens of not good enough. I am looking at my life through the lens of all that’s broken, failing, not measuring up. Again, this is just me. Some people do well with this method … more power to you!
For me, starting off a new year with a gratefulness for the life I’ve been given is where I need to be. I need to view my life through the lens of acceptance, forgiveness, grace, love, and strengthening. There are lots of areas I need to work on, but I can’t start off a new year with the expectation of needing to change. That expectation is not coming from a place of grace. It’s coming from a place of shame.
I need to truly walk in every room of my life and see them for what they are. Are there cracks? Yes. Chipped paint? Yes. Scuffs on the walls? Yes. But when I walk through my house and see those things, do I see a house that just needs to be condemned and completely changed? No. I see a house that’s been lived in. I see a house that’s experienced a thing or two.
That is a thing of beauty.
Sure it might need some repairs, but they are repaired with gentleness and attention to detail. I don’t try to knock it all down and just start over. I see the potential, I know the potential. What if we looked at our lives this way? A beautiful place that’s not filled with flaws, but a place that’s been lived in. A place that doesn’t need changing, just repaired and tended to.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to work out more, lose weight, stop some bad habits and start some good. Those are all wonderful things. But I hope more than anything starting January 1, you do things because you know your worth, your strength, and your importance.
You don’t need to change because you can’t measure up. You don’t need to change anything because you’re filled with flaws.
Just like a house, repairs are made to uncover the beauty that’s already there.
“They say beauty comes from a spirit that has weathered many hardships in life and somehow continues with resilience. Grace can be found in a soul who ages softly, even amid the tempest. I think the loveliest by far is the one whose gentle heart bears a hundred scars from caring, yet still finds a way to pick up the lamp, one more time, to light the way for love.”
~Susan Frybort~
