Disclaimer, the following post may contain full blown whining. It’s not in my nature, but I’m just going to let it out. Just this one time. Love me anyway?
We all know, as moms, the days that are all about us are few and far between! Most of the time, I’m completely OK with that. In fact, I prayed for a child so that I could pour everything I have into someone other than me on any given day to avoid the spotlight, but there is one day I’d still like to be about me. It’s just that little day that comes around once a year … my birthday!
Can’t I, at minimum, have that day to own the selfish “it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to” attitude? Let me just say, the short answer is “no” when you happen to share that special day of entry into this crazy old world with a Hallmark holiday!
Not only do I share it with a holiday that is meant to be a selfless demonstration of how much I love my significant other but now I *get* to share that day with my daughter too! ::eyeroll:: A whole day dedicated to showering her with candy and kisses and most importantly, making sure she knows she is loved (mind you, this really is no different than any other day). Yippee!
With a child, I feel obligated to craft the valentines for all the tiny toddlers at daycare, purchase a card and sweet treats to make my little one feel extra special, oh and also come up with some non-kitschy expression of my undying love for my husband. All the meanwhile, I’m over here scratching my head wondering who is going to cut out heart shaped notes to put on my bedroom door every day of the “month of love” to tell me all the ways they admire me, huh? (All selfish feelings aside, this is a totally adorable idea. If you don’t have a Valentine birthday, I highly recommend doing this for your children!)
Even before children, having a Valentine birthday wasn’t ideal. It meant we couldn’t go out to eat to celebrate unless we wanted to also stomach all the forced awkward romance in the air and wait three hours for a table at a half-decent restaurant. No thanks!
And I certainly couldn’t plan a party with friends when they had all their own love-birds to tend to. Let’s not even mention the obscene amount of social media public displays of affection and lack of Happy Birthday notifications. Just saying.
Inevitably, most birthday celebrations consist of takeout dinners and PJ pants. Most times I’m in the camp that would argue there is absolutely nothing wrong with takeout and PJ pants, but I am a woman and I do like to feel special every now and then. I enjoy the occasional “gussied-up” date night with full blown hair, makeup, and dare I say, HEELS. And what two more perfect excuses for dressing up than your birthday and Valentine’s Day?
I suppose the bottom line is that I feel like these two classic opportunities for special days are reduced to one, or none, when you have a holiday birthday. Many thanks Mom and Dad! I owe ya one! >_<
While I can think of a few worse holidays for birthday-sharing, it’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, right?
All this being said, I will always dismiss that my birthday isn’t a big deal and it’s “just another day.” I will craft the Valentines and I will buy the candy. I will call in the most romantic lo mien and sesame chicken combination (with an extra eggroll) takeout order I can muster and my little family will enjoy each other around the table and it will be perfect. Because what says “I love you” more than duck sauce dripping down your elbow on to your favorite PJs?
Do you have a holiday birthday? How do you deal? (And by deal I mean suppress these feelings of selfishness and entitlement. Look, I’m not proud, ok? )
Lastly, a quick note to my husband who is likely in full blown panic attack mode now at the thought of preparing last minute details to make me feel extra special, seriously, it’s just another day. I have all the gifts I could ever ask for in you and our sweet girl.
-XOXO
