The Three-Ingredient Pie Recipe That Will Change Your Life


My husband and I were sitting in our dining room eating the sweetest watermelon we’ve had all season. While doing so, we got into a discussion about following your own path and knowing when it’s time change direction. And then it happened. 

What happened?

My husband asked me for advice!

Not that he doesn’t often seek my advice or that he doesn’t often heed my advice…but this felt different. I don’t know how or what was so different about it, just that it was going to mean more to him than all the other times he’d come to pick my brain.

Ladies, you know that part of you that just knows stuff? Not because you read it or heard it or someone showed it to you. No. You just know what you know. It was with that knowledge that I gave my husband this piece of advice, and I promise you his shoulders dropped like all the weight he was carrying slipped away. I told him about the H-H-I Pie.

I would be a horrible person if I didn’t break this recipe down for you guys and I am not a horrible person. So here it goes.


The first ingredient is honesty.

This ingredient is going to be the most difficult one to find, but don’t give up. It does exist and even more importantly, it exists within you. Most people believe themselves to be honest, trustworthy people. We dismiss those few times we smudge the truth or leave parts out as little-white-lies.

But a lie is always a lie no matter what color we assign to it or how big or small. Also, we forgive the lies we tell ourselves and others when we endeavor to spare their feelings or make them feel better. If you are not being honest, then you are not being authentic or, in other words, there is no validity to what you think, say, or do. Honesty is the first ingredient in this H-H-I Pie because it requires the most sacrifice and is the most difficult ingredient to incorporate into the mix.

The second ingredient is humility.

Too many people get this word confused with humiliation. When in fact, the word is more closely associated with vulnerability and gratitude. No one ever wants to be humiliated because we all know how that feels. Humility is almost as rare as honesty because it requires a person to come to the realization that they are not as important as they think they are in the grand scheme of things.

It’s hard because we want to believe we’re the most important particle floating in the universe. Guess what? We are not.

However, when we practice humility, we give ourselves permission to be thankful for all the little moments that create the lives we live. Being humble gives us the courage to be vulnerable in the face of social media perfection and the hypocrisy of excellence that doesn’t exist anywhere. It’s important to be grateful for all that you are and all that you’re not. To appreciate that you are one small part of an entire system and that you are more or less important than anything else.

The third and final ingredient in this life-changing pie is intention.

Intention is not so hard to come by. In fact, it’s the most abundant ingredient in this recipe. We all have intentions. We may not always voice them or write them down, but we all have them. And what’s that proverb? The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

It’s not the good intentions that lead a person to hell, it’s lack of attention on the road that lands them there. Intention setting is about being present. When we set our intentions, we are committing to bringing about a specific outcome. For this to work, we have to be present in daily life. I can’t worry about tomorrow or cry about yesterday if I’m focused on my right now. Setting my intention requires that I keep my attention or focus on what I want to happen until it is achieved.

This is why intention is the last ingredient in this H-H-I pie. How can one set intentions and change their life if they haven’t first learned to be completely honest with themselves and others? If their word, actions, and thoughts have not been validated as a result of their commitment to honest living? Once a person is living honestly, it isn’t difficult to be humble. To recognize one’s own smallness in the system, yet not diminish one’s own sense of self-worth. It is that humble vulnerability that will allow them to practice gratitude and prepare themselves to bring about the changes they want to see in their life.

I love sharing this recipe because it doesn’t cost a thing to make it, no special pans or baking dishes, and ladies…it won’t add one pound to the scale after eating your fill.

Are you ready to get started with your Honesty-Humility-Intention Pie?

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Vickey Finkley-Brown
Vickey Finkley-Brown was born and raised in the Lower Richland area of Columbia, SC. She attended Lower Richland High school, where she met and fell in love with her high school sweetheart in 1992. They’ve been married for 20 years and have three beautiful daughters; Kay (18), Sonne (15), and Sadie (13), one quirky dog (Sammy 11), and ten… yes, count them—ten guinea pigs! Vickey graduated from The University of South Carolina with a BA in English and went on to earn a M.Ed. in Curriculum Design and Instruction from Lesley University, which enhanced her 13-year high school teaching career. After developing systemic lupus erythematosus and narcolepsy w/cataplexy, she and her husband decided it was time for her to come home and learn how to live as healthy as possible with the new reality their family was now facing. It turned out to be a blessing, because a few years later, her youngest daughter developed two of the rarest neurological sleeping disorders in the world (Klein Levins Syndrome- a.k.a. Sleeping Beauty Disease and Sighted Non-24). Not only is Vickey able to be at home with her daughter while she attends South Carolina Virtual Charter School and when she goes into KLS episodes, she is also free to pursue her passion as a romance writer, podcaster, and blogger under the pen name; Ella Shawn. Her enchanted platform is an extension of her philosophy of living, loving, and evolving. She writes to gain understanding of the hard choices women often have to make. She endeavors to create enchanted spaces in which to disrobe and see the whole of who she is, and who she isn’t. Vickey shares her journey of self-discovery through writing romance novels, on her podcast, and in her blog. She loves connecting with women who enjoy seeing glimpses of their truth wrapped in sexy happily-ever-after’s. Vickey uses her platform to encourage women to reconnect with their true and essential selves. To cultivate and nurture spaces where they cease being simply women of flesh and bone and become Enchanted Beasts. When she’s not being Ella Shawn, or learning coach, or caregiver, or being taken care of… You may find her painting, crocheting, meditating, or sweating it out in a hot yoga class. But she’s a wild and free spirit who would be just as happy living in a converted van and tooling around the country—sleeping where she runs out of gas. Landing wherever she lands and meeting whoever she meets. However; she’s pretty sure her husband and children wouldn’t be willing to pack up and hit the road with her and, anyway—where would all the piggies go? So, she indulges her nomadic, bohemian spirit with planned travel, mother-cation weekends, and her ever-growing imagination.


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